Feeling abandoned. Anxiety is off the charts, depressed.

[Griff5268]

I was separated from my wife about 2 years ago (She ran off with a long time friend of mine). I got a very bad ulcer and had a dr that put me on Ulcer meds, Zoloft, Ativan, pain killers, and Xanax. I was in the ER at least twice a week with anxiety and panic attacks. I flipped out in the hospital thinking I couldn't breathe and I was considered a danger to myself. Put on a 5150 hold. Put in a treatment center. They told me I was mentally healthy and sent me home 2 days later.  About a year went by and I got much better. Kicked all of my meds and the ulcer healed up. I met a great girl and had been dating her for about 8 months, we lived together also. She just broke everything off and wants me out of the house in a week. She's not the type that needs anyone to feel good, and I am (Sad to admit). And I smoked too much. The last 5-6 days have been so depressing. I'm scared to get back on meds but feel like I may need it. It was a battle to kick them in the first place. Can't get this girl off my mind and the fear of being alone again is hell. Lost it all again and don't know what to do. My leg won't stop bouncing, I have an anxiety attack about every 5 mins. So scared the panic attacks are going to come back any second.

[Paxiled]

I would just say, as your prior experience has shown, medication doesn't do anything to solve your underlying difficult, which is a common problem some of us have in not being able to handle breakups.  God knows they shredded my life a few times.  This can only be solved, if it can be, in therapy, and medication may just placate you so much you won't do the work in therapy on this issue.  There are two different problems seen with anxiety:  chronic anxiety that seems to have no cause and comes from nowhere, and that which has a known trigger.  In the former case, it's very hard to treat, but in the second, it's a bit easier because you know what you have to work on.  Most likely you're really suffering depression with secondary anxiety from the feeling of being abandoned -- some handle this well, some hang on to it.  You need to find out why you hang on to it.  Medication may help you feel better, but you'll still have the problem.

[Vance2335]

Yeah stay away from PCP as they will treat you but as you expeienced might give too much.

[Griff5268]

Ty so much Vance. I left a message to schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist. If I don't hear back soon I'm going to go back to my old therapist. Trying to stay away from the primary dr. they loaded me up on too much last time..

[Vance2335]

And people are here if you need to post and just vent, kick ideas around or whatever. May not get a responce ASAP but it will come.

[Vance2335]

I would recommend going back on meds for the time being and trying to get into a therapist ASAP. I know what you are going through, we are cut form the same cloth.

You may not want to get back on meds but it is better then the alternative. The anxiety and panic attacks are so much more then just mental, they do damage to the body too.