I think I have anxiety? (PLEASE HELP)

[katestirling]

Okay so I have no idea how to explain my situation. I am 16 years old and I think I have anxiety? I've searched up symptoms but I can't tell if I have the symptoms or not. I'm scared of crowds, being left alone, and the dark. I have days where I'm really sad and then I have up days and I feel fine I also have days where all I can think about is suicide. I'm aggravated VERY EASILY. And sometimes I get this kinda lump or knot feeling in my throat and I don't feel like I'm getting enough air. I cry randomly over the smallest of things. But my biggest problem that I have no idea how to explain (I'll try my best) I guess everything around me kind of dims, and in this moment I'll say weird things I don't mean (Tonight at dinner I told my mom Hillary Clinton might be satan or a demon) I feel like its depersonalization but I don't know. Everything around me still feels real this is why I'm confused. I feel like I'm going crazy. Another problem of mine is I think about the past alot (Most of the time past awkward conversations or something) and I'll catch myself saying out loud "Ehhhh" (or some other weird noise like that) or I'll even go as far as talking to myself about that past memory (OUT LOUD.) Sometimes I'll think of something funny from the past and I'll start laughing. It makes me look crazy. This happens no matter where I am and its really embarrassing in public. If any one could tell me whats wrong with me I would really appreciate it. I also have trouble wording things right (Which is why this post is probably everywhere, I hope I'm not confusing you) My mom is completely against getting medical help. Depression runs in my family and she refuses to take any of us to a therapist or any type of doctor for treatment.

Sidenote: I've also read that traumas and stuff from your past affects you? My past is crazy and long and I've seen alot so maybe I have a sort of PTSD? I don't know. Please help! I seriously feel like I'm going crazy.

[Paxiled]

Theories differ about where mental illness comes from, and the truth probably is, it differs for different people.  In your case, the important thing I think is to talk to a psychologist to at least get a diagnosis.  It could be you're just worrying about being 16 years old, which is to say, we're all pretty weird at that age, but for most people it's an amusing weird.  You're not happy with these things, and it can only help to see what's up.  What you're describing can be your personality at a small point in time, it could be exaggerating things because something's going on, and it could be depression.  Whatever it is, I think you'd be eased by talking to someone about it who understands and who can determine if it's something more.  I think it's time to have a good long talk with your Mom, but I wouldn't go into any panic about this, teenage years are just weird for everyone from time to time and hopefully that's all it is.  Any idea why your Mom is so averse to the idea of treatment?  Ask her if she'd feel the same if you had a broken leg.

[AnxiousNoMore]

Can you talk to your school counselor to see if they can figure how to help you see a psychologist? Or as a start maybe they can find some kind of professional that you don't have to fight your mom to see?