How do you care for others?

[someluckystar]

I have two questions that are just about your relationships with others.

1. Do you find yourself minimizing the problem: eg) Today I passed out and my first response was to come to, jump up and tell everyone I was fine. I was wondering if anyone else has that impulse, and/or, when you don't feel great you don't tell anyone, thus minimizing the problem/attention to it.

2. Do you find yourself spending your energy comforting others- ex) i passed out and people freaked out, so instead of worrying about me I had to worry about them freaking out, the attention was shifted from me to them, and while I definitely don't need any more attention the energy spent consoling others can be draining.

Just wondering if some of you feel the same way I do. I've been scouring google for the answer to no avail- so the topic doesnt seem to be researched at all. I'm thinking that researching how sick people console others instead of the other way around for grad school maybe (i'm applying right now :))

[AireScottie]

Yep, I do that all the time.  I pass out at least once a day (more when it gets warm out), but I know there's not much that can be done about it.  I've seen the best doctors and tried every treatment, so it seems stupid to make a big deal out of it.  No one can do anything other than put my feet up if I pass out.  Now, on the days that I'm on the verge of passing out all day or pass out more than once, I'll make sure I tell someone, because I know I may be too dazed to know when I need to go to the ER (where they also can't do much to help).  I think studying the caring reversal is a great idea.

[shannonkim]

Yes, I totally agree with you. People totally freak when I faint and I feel obligated almost to calm them down and forget about me!! Maybe it is a way to get our minds off ourselves...

[khearts2]

I have less of a problem with the people I live with.  If I'm at the store with friends though, I have to beg them not to call 911.  It gets annoying.

[mala84]

I do exactly the same thing. I work in a hospital, which means that everyone is over the top if anything happens to one of the staff. I found ways of covering up how I am to a certain degree. My family also live away from me, so they don't know half of the things I have been through. I dont know if this is a good thing or not.

I think it is a built in system, in females especially, to protect the people closest to them.

In response to your questions:
1) Every day, I think I'm not only telling people but myself, I'm ok.
2)Definately, I fainted in the car park at work and was, as a result, late. I spent the rest of the day convinsing people that I didn't need to go to A+E and that it happened so often, I was fine.