Do you think you were born with bipolar disorder?

[cowgirlnerd]

We know that bipolar is a chemical imbalance in our brain, most likely inherited, but time and time again, I hear people say, "I wasn't bipolar as a child.".....  I feel pretty certain that I was as far as I can remember.

There are triggers that cause our episodes - given.  

Do you think YOU were born with bipolar disorder or it developed?  

[outsider785]

I am Sid# 796506,which is what I've felt like since I turned 18, but my con fusion started long before that. Actually as far back as I can remember. So finding out I was born bipolar was no surprise. The bipolar is very severe. Just recently  I was  diagnosed with other disorders, such as ADD and PTSD, multiple personality disorder and/or DID (dissosiative identity disorder). I also have hepatitis C and an atrorhy kidney. Along with a few other chronic health problems. might anyone have advice for me, but of course taking into consideration my health and the fact that I have many dr's apts. I must go to, which means can't be drowsy.does anybody PLEASE have any suggestions for me.

[Crystal413]

Hi Lucy, I first wanted to say that you might want to put your comment on your own post. You may get more comments that way since this is an old thread. I commend you for reaching out and wanting help.

I'm sorry you have had such a rough time of it. I would strongly encourage you to share your feelings and what's happening to you with your parents. Even show them what you wrote here if that's easier. I would also advise you to go to a dr, preferably a pscychiatrist, as they can be best in this case. They will be the ones who can diagnose you and explain what's happening. I also suggest you start some Therapy which can help you a great deal. It takes everyone working together and your desire to get well.

I'm really glad your reaching out. Love yourself, be kind to yourself and tell yourself things will get better. Asking for help is the first step. We are here anytime you need us. Keep in touch. We will be thinking of you.

[Lucy1125]

I am all of 14 years of age , and i constantly find myself threatening some ones life or well being , I tend to bounce from happy to mad to depressed , out raged and menacing t points , I'm diagnosing myself with anything , But when I was younger i tended to torment the kids at my school ,I'd lock my siblings in a dark room and laugh at them . I find myself destroying personal , property yelling cussing and hitting myself and others . And after awhile i cry myslef to sleep . Write back i need advice on whats the matter with me .  

[Amy4891]

I think I was born this way. I was a bit of a weird child, and sad alot of the time. I also had some anxiety issues as a child general and social. I thought everyone was strange and the world we live in as very strange. I actually thought I was an alien when I was about 5 or 6. I really believed earth was not my home and someone was playing a big joke on me by putting me here. I also thought I was psychic as I had "visions" and strange dreams. Some of my dreams actually have been precognitive. I am very torn on this because my mother is severly bipolar and my aunt is a very sucessful professional psychic. And no one has yet to destinguish the difference between psychic abilities and hallucinations. Anyways my sometimes sad moods grew into major depressions as I got older. I think I was first manic as a teenager though it was pretty mild and at the time thought I was just being a normal teenager. I just had my first full blown mania at 27. So I think born this way and gets worse with age is how I would describe my experiance with bipolar disorder.

[Melcrazygirlfaith]

I have not yet been diagnosed I believe I've been bi polar since childhood my mum has bi polar and schitzophrenia with regular episodes and the only thing stopping me from being properly diagnosed is how 'normal' people will then treat me, if I have gotten this far without lettin people see what's wrong with me and they just think when I'm manic that I'm just naturally high spirited in fact I put on an act all the time that I'm happy normal and the crazy things I do were because I wanted to be out there, fact is I let nobody in and imstarting to recognise my episodes... I am starting to employ all the coping strategies but it is that much harder when you feel you can't actually tell anyone the way you think because they won't understand if I think too much I hav severe depressive episodes and completely isolate myself.... Then my world falls apart this is the 3rd time I feel I have to rebuild life around me because I destroy everything I care about when I'm ill, but nobody will let me be bi polar they blame me for my actions but I cannot explain my way of thinking I don't think I have enough people in my life yet to come out with it, I want to feel mOre secure so I can deal with the negative reaction I know I'm going to receive for something I can't help but try n understand.

[cowgirlnerd]

I agree that we shouldn't focus unneccesarily on our illness, but there lies an underlying need to understand it.  To feel as if, somehow, we aren't completely to blame for our "issues" created by the aftermath of our episodes.   A need to know what "normal" is and how other Non-BP people feel - to know if the irrational thoughts run through every human, or just us.  To know that maybe with understanding our illness, we can overcome some of the obstacles facing us everyday.  

Myself, I try to not live in self-pity, but do want to understand it.   I have a friend that died from suicide and I don't believe he was BP, but he was OCD - without a doubt and struggled with depression.  I know it's a factor for any human to not want to live here anymore - but I know from my experience that it can be an all to comfortable feeling with us BP's.  Hopefully, understanding, meds, and therapy will keep me from attempting again.  

We just have to hope that we all get stable enough to be comfortable within ourself and live life to it's fullest - whatever that might be.

Rach

[adel_ezz]

People always think they are different than others, because they watch them from the outside, how they appear or behave only, but can't tell what is in their inside. They conclude from what they see, that they don't suffer like we do bipolar ones.

Again everybody has a "mental" problem. People are supertitious (my father), paranoid thinking that others mistreat them, jealous, greedy to the extreme, feeling unsafe. All these words exist in the dictionary therefore natural.

What i call mental is someone who can't differentiate between right or wrong. But someone who struggles with his own handicap is not mentally ill. He is only disabled.

Bipolarity like in other illnesses whether kidney, heart, etc... strikes you suddenly. One is predisposed i.e. not immuned enough from withstanding stress like others, so the brain has a self mechanism of defense. The latter can be depression, or mania or an alternation between both. Call it perfectionism, resentment. Once this happens you are CLINICALLY BP. Because everybody can tolerate stress somehow but not like us. Usually BP are honest people, true with themselves, sensitive so they succomb to their own straightforwardness.

Once the brain develops this depression/mania cycle it's finished it's like an insulator which becomes a conductor, like they teach us in electromagnetic theory under a high surge/voltage. From there on you need something to lessen these fluctuations.

It's bad but if you think of the others and consider that everybody's problem is the end of the world to him then you will be contented and carry on with your life. After all we don't live forever, you try to maximize your happiness subject to these limitations called constraints in mathematics.

Everybody (believe me) has constraints. Non BP commit suicide (Onasis daughter) nobody is perfectly happy. Happiness is beside being a state of your own mind occurs at a limited periods.

Enjoy your life as much as you can. Think little about your illness. The more you forget about it the more it will forget you.

have a nice day
ezz    

[Twelvesgirl]

I commented in a different post about nightmares and night terrors, this will be a double but it applies here also. I have read a few excerpts out of the book The Bipolar Child, I know it's controversial but I wondered if my childhood was symptomatic. But when I was young around 4 or 5 I had night terrors, which is a symptom, my night terrors were awful, every night, no one slept, my siblings thought I was posessed. By the time those were gone, I started having nightmares, which were were even worse for me because I remember them and they were recurring. Horrible morbid dreams about things happening to my family, another symptom for bp kids morbid thoughts and dreams, and dreams of natural disasters, bomb and missile filled skies. I remember being terrified to sleep, and on atleast one occasion after waking from a nightmare my parents were in my room and I remember seeing little seethrough men running around in a circle in my hallway. I may have still been in a dream state...who knows, I still remember, I can still remember what they looked like to this day, they were very jolly scary little fellows. My siblings still thought I was posessed, I didn't know any better at that age, I thought maybe I was too. What kind of little girl would have those kind of thoughts about her family, see things and etc. That is my earliest memory of something being different than my siblings and others that I knew.

I have always had a preoccupation with the number 4. Never knew why. My mother told me I had a high fever when I was 4 where the hair in the back of my head fell out. Maybe that was a trauma? Maybe that was why it started at a young age?

I don't know, what kind of therapy am I supposed to have to work through all of this stuff? The therapist I have know is just talking to me about stressors I have right now, I'm bored w/ it, I don't even want to go, we just talk about my step-daughter the whole time. Shes a family therapist, what other kind of therapy can I go to work through my BP stuff?

[mejeba]

yes indeed!  only recognizable in retrospect but the sensitivity, emotional lability, differentness, delusions of grandeur, self-hatred, other family members including son and mother...........and I was not diagnozed until my 55th birthday after a prolonged depressioon caused by family trajedy and personal stress.  A "breakdown" you could say.

Also, my pdoc told me so.

[cowgirlnerd]

I am absolutely certain that I was born with it.  There are so many similarities in the comments I read here and in that regard - we can take comfort in numbers.  I have always felt, "not right" and MAN, in my early teenage (I guess puberty) times, I was completely out of control - it progressed off an on through the years.  FINALLY diagnosed at last year.   I can even remember having hallucinations as early as 5 - my oldest sister was crawling toward me playing like a tiger or something and she transformed into a devil and was chasing me.  I ran all the way to the barn to find my mother (keep in mind my "devil" sister was running behind me - so that freaked me out!).  It is still talked about to this day!  

Truly, I believe that my BP was inherited from my father - and I believe that is a strong reason my mother has strayed away from me after my diagnosis.  She just doesn't want to see it in me (they had a very strained relationship up to his death - he was never stable in this life).  Sad, but true.

My Mom also believes that my "issues" are caused in part by me drowning at 4 or 5 (I can't remember).  I actually drowned and was brought back.    She says the lack of oxygen messed up my brain (nice comments from a Mom, huh!) and makes me get depressed....

An interesting question about the stable loving household issue - I wonder if that support is something that could lessen the severity?  I do truly believe it's genetic, but I wonder if the support of a stable household limits the effects?

HMMMmmmmm.......

Racheal

[Alex_X_18]

I think I was born with BP I was fussy as a baby and as a toddler I was extremely hyper and had poor social skills...even as a preteen I had lots difficulty focusing in school...
my mood swings started happening once I hit junior high It must have been the stress involving peer pressure and hitting puberty....

[LetaB]

You're right. I was writing without thinking. I meant the onset of symptoms which I think is all we are talking about. After all, why wouldn't there be larger population of BPs in third world countries or among victims of torture if it were true that tragedies brought on this disorder on their own?

[farraway]

"Onset" is the first appearance of the signs (or symptoms) of an illness OR the beginning of an illness.

[Jade59]

I believe the stress of being molested until I was 11 is what activated it too the fullest...

[LetaB]

There have been some scientific arguments that stress can be a factor in causing the onset of BP as well.


Onset - that means you already had it but it hadn't showed up yet.

[Amyjo101]

I really think my daughter was born this way... I just think it decide to become active and she become severely symptomatic once puberty started but she also had some trauma as a child(molestation) that I can attribute to some of her other symptoms...

Some research says that your predisposed to the disorder and stress or rocky childhood can cause it to become active... I don't know for sure what the issue is with her if she was born this way and it just happen to become active or if she became bipolar due to the trauma...

She has ALWAYS been a little odd...from the time she was born so I really think she was born with the disorder it just took the trauma and puberty to set it off...

[farraway]

This is an interesting survey!
I now know that I developed my symptoms in the late teens.

"You can never be absolutely certain" would be my additional point here.
Genetics and biology definitely have a strong influence in the onset of BP, but this is not the whole story.
There have been some scientific arguments that stress can be a factor in causing the onset of BP as well.
The scientists just don't exactly know yet.

[LetaB]

All Bipolar people are born this way. It may not show up until puberty or even later but that's partially because you're too busy to notice your symptoms until they progress - often dramatically really showing because of some emergency in your life. You can't catch it - it's in your blood.

[Jade59]

Yes, I believe I was born this way!  I have always felt odd, like something was wrong with me.  I remember in kindergarten, I had no idea how to make friends.  Up until the last 5yrs or so, I have watched other peoples behavior my entire life trying to figure out how to fit in...how to behave right...like for real.  I can fake it, I always have, but it's exhausting.  

I have been reading the posts here lately, especially today and over and over I am seeing my own behavior, thoughts and/or situations described by other people and the thought that keeps coming to mind is "umm...you mean, that's not normal?"

I too, have had sleeping problems since birth and now, other than a twilight sleep, haven't slept for 8days.  Should stop posting because I will look at what I've written tomorrow and be sorry because I will feel completely different.  I could also easily feel completely different in just a minute.

[hell1971]

Ive only just been diagnosed at 37 so I have spent many many hours looking back on my past ( thats the memories I can remember ), I new I was a fruit loop, a bit blonde and was the first to mock myself, I just thought everyone else was weird, I was the normal one. I had the classic traumers in childhood that the docs love to associate with these mental illnesses, I guess I can remember when my behaviours changed and I would say it was around 9, although previous to that I did show some anxiety issues. The answer I would love answered is what if you provide a very loving stable home and when issues arrise you are given the help and support, what then when dispite all of that you still suffer great pain and still develope Bipolar ! why ! I say it must be mostly biological and that stressors can aggrivate it.....

[zzzmykids]

Yes.  I remember sitting in the closet or the tree and just me or my sister with me or our next door neighbor.  I remember in first grade, taking over the class and getting in trouble for it. Second grade I followed the teacher everywhere, I was her shadow. I was not liked by other girls very much all through school and I used to think I must really be ugly, then I grew up and now realize though I thought that all my life it was not.
I look for the generational thing, I can see it though never diagnosed.  My mom was on bed rest the entire time she was pregnant with me and had her veins stripped and wrapped and her dr gave her something to keep her gaining no weight.  She says it was horrible when they took her off cold turkey but she does not remember what it was.
You opened a hornets nest cowgirlnerd, one we can finally talk about.
Sincerely,
zzzmykids

[Venora Moonwind]

I was born bi polar. People said I was high stung or moody. Between my hysterectomy and my thyroid problems it just got worse.
Love Venora

[lagatta]

I'm pretty sure I've been bipolar all my life.  I've had sleeping problems since birth, I was always inconsistent with grades because sometimes I was really on and other times I couldn't focus and I was overly sensitive.  I was very well behaved (lots of comments about being a sweet and thoughtful child) but was really fidgety, easily bored, distractible.  I didn't have a problem with anger until later in life though.  I think my BP just got worse with time.  

[bastet56]

Oh yeah, I was born BP as were, and are, many of my relatives. I believe I had a predisposition for GAD and my situation just sent me over the edge. I just worry about the types and doses of the meds that they are giving young children now. As much as I probably would have benefitted from some sort of medication, I am appalled at what some really young kids are on.