How To Spot Hypomania in Yourself? Signs?

[ILADVOCATE]

I know its easy to tell someone they are hypomanic. But what about yourself? And that full blow mania is frightening. But hypomania can seem like "fun" but it quickly spirals into full blown mania. We've all experienced it. Including myself. And aren't always self aware. But how can we stop it before it gets worse?
For myself signs of hypomania (remember its complex because I have schizoaffective)
include:
contacting people I hardly know, feelings that "I love everyone" (elation), hypersexuality, overspending, feelings of paranoia (people who are annoying become "threatening"), doing passive aggressive or hostile pranks (in the past), self medicating with natural remedies (in the past), drinking large amounts of caffeinated beverages (in the past), overstating my important/thinking I could "change the world", unable to concentrate on tasks but becoming obssessed with something unimportant.
Right now I am to the point where I can spot this and catch it before it gets worse. Can you? What happens with you?
Can you stop it? And could you learn?

[LeftCoastChick]

Hi and Welcome aboard!

My mania comes in waves, the days I'm not in physical pain, I'm buzzing around, though I can never get anything done, including cleaning, now my place is a serious mess.  I found that celexa and cymbalta both made me want to jump out of my skin and I hated being touched.

I, like you wonder if I am ever going to have a sweetheart. As soon as I mention BP, whoosh they're gone. I've tried to educate, but it doesn't really matter.  At this point I've given up. It's been years since I've had  a serious relationship, but with this diagnosis on top of being a bit overweight, my chances are slim to none. I  have let go of that aspect of my life. Not that I don't think I'm worthy, but I'm being realistic in my situation.  I'm glad that some folks have a partner, it's much easier when you have someone batting in your corner.

Dale:
SSRI's gave me agonzing headaches, it was only until I switched meds did I realize much of it was from the meds. I didn't have a day w/out a headache. I get maybe 2 a week now. I also used to drink piles of coffee to stay awake, I was drowsy all the time.
I only have rough days now usually when it's colder outside as I have osteoarthritis in my lower back. I've stopped having tenssion headaches, my neck doesn't hurt anymore, and that's been going on for 15+ yrs when I started Luvox as my first ssri.  I can cope more with lower back pain 90% of the time, when my pain is at a level 8+, I don't do well.
I also know that pain at that level triggers my depression. The brain is such a complex thing isn't it?

[daledude]

I think you're right, we do have a lot in common with our symptoms. I have serious problems being productive due to fatigue, depression, lack of energy, no motivation, etc. Fortunately, or for me, mostly unfortunately, I can feel this way and still look pretty good such that my ex used to get really pissed at me for not doing the things that I should be doing.

At the time I didn't know that I was bipolar, all I knew was that I was often really tired and unmotivated to do anything. Part of me thought that I was just lazy, but another part of me knew that I really couldn't help it. I remember regularly falling asleep in class all the way back in high school. I generally wouldn't last more than 15 minutes trying to study in the library before I was asleep on the table. Drank coffee and smoked cigarettes all day for 20+ years to try to compensate.

Wasn't bad off enough for long enough to think I needed help, plus it really never crossed my mind that what I was experiencing could be a mental illness. I thought that I was just f'd up and inadequate, bad character or something, and that I was just lacking the discipline to get my s*** together. Thought that if I'd just be disciplined enough to do that, I'd be okay and it'd all go away.

Went through a pile of self-help stuff trying to get it right, some of it helped a bit, in some areas, for a while, but the tiredness, fatigue and sleep problems never went away.

I feel like I have to watch myself a bit now because it's a bit too easy to just say f*** it, I have bipolar so I can't do anything anymore. Not a helpful attitude, but hard to resist because sometimes it IS true, I am really unable to do much of anything.

I have been having headaches every day for months and found that I was also unable to read due mostly to fatigue, plus it was painful for my eyes when I tried to read. It does seem strange, but I know what you're talking about. I usually didn't want to read more than a short paragraph or so at a time - not too productive. At the moment I am thankfully able to read again.

In regards to relationships, I've hit the jackpot - I don't know if I'd be around at all if it weren't for my wife. We have been together for 15 years as best friends too - its been a real blessing for both of us in that way. Its kind of strange that in spite of all the pain and things "gone wrong", I've always felt lucky or fortunate at the same time. Not a happy type feeling, just a feeling of being fortunate that I have what I do and how it could be so much worse than it is I guess.

[alzandra]

Thank you.  I do have many resources here in Canada.  And I have been using them as I am able.  I am having a problem being productive.  Except in the small things.  I even do things for my family members and I can't always be as reliable as I want to.  They, thankfully, do understand that I am not unreliable on purpose, and they also know that I don't take on too much so that I render myself useless.  But in the real world, it doesn't work.

Sometimes, it's so hard to read (my favourite hobby) because of my innability to concentrate, my memory problems and fatigue.  Can you believe that?  I mean, really, how is it possible to be too fatigued to read?  Even one magazine article....

[ILADVOCATE]

There are ways around these issues once medication is adjusted as you say it it. There are dating sites for people with psychiatric disabilities. I know nolongerlonely.com is a reputable one. As for disability, if you mean SSDI, there are work incentives programs associated with it and I know each state has vocational training programs for people with disabilities so that even if you couldn't do your past work, you could try for something else. As well with SSDI there is a limit called Substantial Gainful Activity but if you earn below that, that is do minor part time work you could still be able to collect. That's in the United States and I noticed that you live in Canada so perhaps it works differently there but they must have something similar. Regardless you could find out at an independent living center and they do have those in Canada as well:
http://www.ilcanada.ca/article/ilcs-across-canada-166.asp
Regardless being on disability doesn't mean not being productive as I can personally testify.

[alzandra]

Iladvocate:  I haven't had any psychosis.  Yet.  Thankfully.  I have also been lucky as far as a mood stabilizer (lithium was the first and only).  I understand the guinea pig issues you've had, as I've been on numerous different antidepressants.  Finally settled on Effexor XR.   We change the dosage as needed at different times.

Daledude:  I feel like you and I have alot in common with our symptoms.  I wish I was as eloquent as many of the ppl on here.... I also seem to not realize a LOT of things I thought were just weird quirks may actually be a part of my BP.  Like the painful skin-crawling feelings & now, the feelings of isolation and giving up.  Which brings me to....

Lynnkay:  We are doing the best that we can with what we've got.  If we knew better, we would do better.  Platitudes, yes.  But it is the truth.  I can relate to your feelings.  I too, have isolated myself.  Mostly I feel like there is so much more to me that's stuck inside and just can't get out.  I wish desparately that I could fix it because I have the potential and I'm young enuff to go to school, but the motivation and the ability is no longer there.  It's like it was sucked right out of me.  It's the same with making new relationships.  

I feel like I'm going to be single and on disablity forever.  And boy does that hurt.

[daledude]

Hi lynnkay,

As George Clooney said in Oh Brother Where Art Thou, you are in a tight spot. After reading your post I feel like a real whiner - and more appreciative of what I still DO have!

A couple of positives in your post really stuck out for me. First, "I see a good person deep down...". I know exactly what you mean, that "good person" is always good no matter what is or isn't going on. To me, this is the "real me", the part that is not changeable, unaffected by circumstances, and according to teachers that I particularly like, the part of us that is eternal or timeless: the part that was there before we were born and will still be after physical death.

Second, "It all is what it is.". This totally reminds me of Eckhart Tolle's teachings. One thing that he said that I wrote down and has stuck with me ever since is, "Allow, what is, to be...It seems too simple, but that's how it works." In other words, it already is as it is, why cause oneself more suffering by arguing with, and fighting against, what already is?

I used to strive for what I wanted, occasionally still do, but like you, I have finally let most of it pass by, partly because I could see that it was no longer possible, but more importantly for me was seeing that almost all of what I was previously striving for was of no real importance after all. What is most important to me now is doing my best to honor that goodness, and to BE that goodness, that resides down deep.

That goodness knows that there is no need for guilt, how could there be? We do the best that we can do given the cards that we've been dealt. We've always done the best that we can, even when it seems that we could have done better - if we could have done better, we would have! We are not to blame for our genetics and conditioning resulting from our upbringing, schools, other people, societal expectations, etc. We've always done the best we could at any given moment, given all that we are, and that goodness down deep knows that.

So, I have to disagree with your last sentence, you are not just an aging unhappy lady, you are really that goodness down deep.

All the best.