How To Spot Hypomania in Yourself? Signs?

[ILADVOCATE]

I know its easy to tell someone they are hypomanic. But what about yourself? And that full blow mania is frightening. But hypomania can seem like "fun" but it quickly spirals into full blown mania. We've all experienced it. Including myself. And aren't always self aware. But how can we stop it before it gets worse?
For myself signs of hypomania (remember its complex because I have schizoaffective)
include:
contacting people I hardly know, feelings that "I love everyone" (elation), hypersexuality, overspending, feelings of paranoia (people who are annoying become "threatening"), doing passive aggressive or hostile pranks (in the past), self medicating with natural remedies (in the past), drinking large amounts of caffeinated beverages (in the past), overstating my important/thinking I could "change the world", unable to concentrate on tasks but becoming obssessed with something unimportant.
Right now I am to the point where I can spot this and catch it before it gets worse. Can you? What happens with you?
Can you stop it? And could you learn?

[daledude]

Hi lynnkay,

As George Clooney said in Oh Brother Where Art Thou, you are in a tight spot. After reading your post I feel like a real whiner - and more appreciative of what I still DO have!

A couple of positives in your post really stuck out for me. First, "I see a good person deep down...". I know exactly what you mean, that "good person" is always good no matter what is or isn't going on. To me, this is the "real me", the part that is not changeable, unaffected by circumstances, and according to teachers that I particularly like, the part of us that is eternal or timeless: the part that was there before we were born and will still be after physical death.

Second, "It all is what it is.". This totally reminds me of Eckhart Tolle's teachings. One thing that he said that I wrote down and has stuck with me ever since is, "Allow, what is, to be...It seems too simple, but that's how it works." In other words, it already is as it is, why cause oneself more suffering by arguing with, and fighting against, what already is?

I used to strive for what I wanted, occasionally still do, but like you, I have finally let most of it pass by, partly because I could see that it was no longer possible, but more importantly for me was seeing that almost all of what I was previously striving for was of no real importance after all. What is most important to me now is doing my best to honor that goodness, and to BE that goodness, that resides down deep.

That goodness knows that there is no need for guilt, how could there be? We do the best that we can do given the cards that we've been dealt. We've always done the best that we can, even when it seems that we could have done better - if we could have done better, we would have! We are not to blame for our genetics and conditioning resulting from our upbringing, schools, other people, societal expectations, etc. We've always done the best we could at any given moment, given all that we are, and that goodness down deep knows that.

So, I have to disagree with your last sentence, you are not just an aging unhappy lady, you are really that goodness down deep.

All the best.

[ILADVOCATE]

  Yes well hypomania is something for me to cope with but before I was on the experimental psychotic glycine I had full psychotic thoughts. Its a matter of getting a good mood stabilizer and I've been through 30 of them. Truthfully I am aware when I am hypomanic. Even when I am manic. With the experimental antipsychotic I am on I redirect the energy. If I feel manic I may work on a creative project to keep from doing something destructive. If I feel persecuted by the world even in a sense that's not abnormal I'll do something to change things and not grandiose, I mean such as recently when I wrote to the boro president where I live about there being a traffic light on the corner because of the number of car crashes and it got a response and will be acted on. And when I feel depressed I try and work with someone to help them so I stop feeling sorry for myself. Look it took me a while to find an antipsychotic that mitigated my psychotic thoughts. That seemed impossible. But studies bear it out. If I find a mood stabilizer that works that well in development that I can get access to I'll try it. But with any mood stabilizer in addition to the glycine (again this is a Phase II experimental antipsychotic, not a natural remedy) I can redirect all of those annoying manic feelings.    
  And I've known some people with cylothymia who can't. Its complex. I remember when I was first recovering and the voices I heard (that's gone of course) stopped being angry and psychotic and said once "I know you are manic. What are you going to do about it?. Do something constructive with it". I don't hear voices anymore but I think and act in that manner. And it does work. And I don't think someone needs to make a medication change to use this strategy.

[lynnkay]

I am Bipolar II. I am 51 and have had it as long as I can remember. I was the difficult child then teenager. Even then I just knew that I was and felt different than others. Back then mental illness was a taboo subject. I was finally diagnosed in my early 30's. Frankly I hate being Bipolar. It helped caused a lot of bad decisions when younger, caused 5 hospitalizations and 3 suicide attempts. The depressions are dark and deep. There has been a lot of hypomania as well. I also have OCD and panic disorder. These all have caused for much misery. What does the hypomania cause in me? I have been known to spend money, when I knew bills were due. I get an inflated sense that I know everything. I will get to talking and no one can get a word in. I become very irritable, have zero patience and have extreme anger inside. I have had multiple jobs. Friendships that have never lasted. I will multi-task. Having a number of things that I am doing at once. All I end up accomplishing is feeling such frustration. What are my triggers? I really don't know. Somedays I wake up and that is just the way I am. I think stress is one of my possible triggers. The depressions I can feel and see coming in myself, more than I can the hypomania. My husband says I am like two people. At what point am I at now at 51? I see a good person down deep, that was intelligent enough, to have been anything she wanted to be. And this is not hypomania talking in me now. This is the real me, that is feeling from the heart. Being bipolar does not improve or it did not for me anyway. At this point I am only very tired. The weariness reaches to my soul. I have done all the counseling. I do believe in counseling and the meds. But, those things cannot fix for me now, what has already been damaged over the years. Now, I live with extreme guilt and regret. I have become housebound pretty much. The world no longer holds any interest to me. My paranoia took the interest of life away for me. I now trust no one. I have been diagnosed in Oct. 2007 with COPD..Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disorder. Due to the OCD, I am afraid to get out in the world. I am terrified of germs. With COPD a person gets ill a lot. A cold turns into bronchitis, pneumonia, pleurisy, etc. When you have COPD there is much loss of breath and the fatigue is overwhelming. Anymore, I can have hypomania and just not have the energy or breath, to keep up with being hypomanic. Depression creeps in more and more. It is hard knowing you have a disease, that is one day going to kill you. Being bipolar was bad enough. I have been on many meds in my time. Some only made me worse, some took the edge off and some did nothing. I cannot tolerate the antipsychotics. And I won't be so doped up, that I am like a zombie. I have been there. I am not at a good place right now. There is no one to talk to. My family loves me, but they don't really get me. I don't blame them. I don't get myself. Things are not going to get better. It all is what it is. Please don't let my story discourage anyone though. Hang in there and strive for what you want in life and your dreams. I let all mine pass by. Now, I am just an aging unhappy lady.

[Kimberlly55]

I am reading that you have lost your hope. And whether this is from the depression or you, we cannot feed our depression. What I wonder about bipolar disorder is this: If the people who have made a difference in the world of mental health, many of whom have struggled with depression, were to have voiced this dream to a therapist  during a state of depression, would they too, be diagnosed with bipolar disorder? It is almost like depressed people cannot have dreams to make a difference.

[daledude]

I know what you mean by saying "I want to jump out of my skin", I've had that too, as a psychological urge, unlike what I meant by "skin crawling", meaning a physical sensation that I think some people have described as feeling kind of like ants crawling underneath your skin, associated with restless leg syndrome. I also have a physical burning feeling that goes along with it as well. It's most obvious in my legs and feet, but is farther up as well.

I've had this for years, mostly while not on Wellbutrin. It comes and goes seemingly without reason. Whenever it comes I look for a reason and can't find one, but I am now wondering if it possibly comes along when I have active mania/hypomania.

[alzandra]

Oh my goodness, I am so happy to have found you ppl here!  Thank you.  I feel "normal." Haha. For someone with BP.

My low energy is the inability to follow through with the racing ideas, starting of projects, etc.  Sometimes I have a hard time even starting things, but I do pace.  Although in hypomania with racing thoughts and influx of ideas, I can stay up all night and not do anything except read, watch TV or just sit and stare at the walls.

[angelwalk]

God, I love you.  I am not alone.  The hardest part of going through all of this is nobody really knows it.  Unless you have been there.  I am glad like you I found ppl here too.  Exactly what I needed when I needed it.

[ILADVOCATE]

Thanks. I see a lot of these issues in myself. Having a general recovery from psychosis doesn't mean that I was out of the woods as regards mood stabilization. I know that I have over riding neurological issues and require activating prescriptions for them that keep me up late at night (until early morning, cannot tolerate known sleep aides) but I knew there was an element of what I called to my psychopharmocologist "garden variety mania" lol. I was just trying to target exactly what.
  The difficulty in the past was that I did things that had destructive consequences. Now I do things that have positive consequences but involve a lot of responsibility that goes with them. So I have to target exactly what to take on and what's realistic and eliminate any destructive motives involved if the advocacy involves something I am contesting. I would say since getting back on a mood stabilizer that's been much easier to do. If you try to "correct the world" as I do even when hypomanic you are really just fighting windmills and are unable to get anything done.