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543837 tn?1214352355

I want to meet someone else with bipolar II

Hi,  I'm 28, diagnosed with bipolar II when I was 14. I stopped treatment when I was 16 because I declared my teenage self cured. Even though the years since have been difficult I only restarted treatment when my mother suggested it a few years ago. Since then my life has gone down hill then up and down.

This has been my experience:

A disaster waiting to happen: Wellbutrin alone from a quack doctor who I have never spoken to more than 2 min and didn't speak to me on the initial visit!!  She was my mothers doctor, I was immediately given the same diagnosis as my mother with out a question to me, the diagnosis depression. She spoke to my mother about me first who had only been back in my life for three years.  Which was convenient since I had no insurance and they could double up on my mothers meds to cover us both.   Cheaper is never better and it's illegal! She never gave us enough medication to last the month so I was off one week a month.  

I went from a 3.87 GPA and almost having a degree pretreatment to at first feeling what ecstatic felt like for the first time in my life. Then I started having panic attacks, crying constantly and not being able to think straight enough to stay on task and at times to even get myself up and ready.  If I had a school project I had severe anxiety about it and I tended to put it off to only have panic attacks about putting it off until the very end which I would totally freak and lock myself in a room. I would do a little work freak out a whole lot, and then I would feel like a twit and try to study. Everything was turned in at 70% or not at all.  My time in class was so stressful but I kept a straight face through it, which I'm sure a lot of people could see though.  I missed a lot of classes because I would get to school and not be able to pull myself together and go to class. My car rides to and from anywhere consisted of my crying and having sever anxiety about my life, my terrible relationship with my mother and my sister. I know most of these reactions were because I was on and off Wellbutrin every month and the anxiety was most likely due to the Wellbutrin.  I finally hit rock bottom where I found myself unable to do any task.  It's hard to explain why it was hard to get dressed and walk out the door to live my life so I won't try.   I was curled up in a ball trying to weight out my life, by that I mean if I was worth the burden put on my family. It took all day because I was confused and hard to understand but I was able to randomly call enough doctors until one receptionist gave me a number of a new Doctor in town whom gave me an emergency appointment in two days. I immediately called my dad who put me on suicide watch for the next few days.  

New Doctor and the quest for the right diagnosis:
My new doctor was great, my first appointment was 2 hours and he really spent a lot of time getting to know me and how I view this life of mine.  At first he agreed that I probably have depression since I don't naturally show many signs of mania.  That was soon to change on appointment 3 when I told my doctor about my new profound leash on a happy carefree life of losing weight and money and picking up a few habits like drinking and the logic that cramming was a better study method.  He quickly told me that inpulsiveness was a sign of mania and I was diagnosed again with bipolar II.  
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Avatar universal
Hi I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar disorder ll .Alot of the things that you wrote I could relate to.Except that I wasn't at school,I was at work ,trying to be a mom to my kids, trying to be a good wife ,and trying to keep my house running.I actually couldn't even get off the couch to do anything.I didn't want to get up and go to work,I didn't even want to get up to take showers or anything.I did go to work everyday which was extremely hard.I had a couple meltdowns at work.One of my meltdowns I was going to just walk out,because all I wanted to do was runaway.I didn't know where I would go,but I figured that everyone would be better if I wasn't around.My bipolar was triggered by someone very very close to me dying the  january of "07". I am know starting to heal.I ended going to a psychiatrist( which I did not want to)and it was the best thing I could have done for myself.I don't know where I would be if I hadn't.I am now on 80 mgs of prozac and also 200 mgs of Lamictal.Thank goodness for my husband.He understood everything,he was there for me the entire time and kept being positive so I didn't give up ,which I wanted to do a couple of times.I was also diagnosed with ocd,I had a double whammy ( bipolar type ll and also ocd) working against each other and also against me.I am glad you are doing better.I know personnaly I don't ever want to go back to that state ever again.Good Luck with everything....~AMY~
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547573 tn?1234655710
I'm glad you found a doctor that seems to know what he's doing, but be sure your'e complete in all of your symtoms.  Keeping a journal may help. This will allow the doctor to prescribe the appropriate medications and determine if there is more than one issue other than bipolar disorder.   I suffer panic attacks also, plus other things, although my primary diagnosis is bipolar I. I've also have found that counseling can be helpful(it has for me).  Additionally, there are several other things which can help bipolar disorder such as exercise, diet, proper sleep and meditation. Good Luck!

Michael
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Avatar universal
Jen...I had to go to several psychiatrists before I found a good one.  I also experienced a psychiatrist putting me on a powerful drug without ever evaluating me (early in my illness).  It was Cymbalta.  They didn't even consider the meds that I already told them I was highly allergic to that are in the same family of meds.  I was so new to having a "condition" of any sort and had never had to take long-term medication.  I was naive.  Even though I brought my sensitivity to psychotropics to the doctors "assistant" attention, he insisted that this was the new miracle drug.  Sure enough, within 2 weeks, I was rushed to the emergency room for severe medical reaction to the med (made my heart pound out of my chest, closed up my throat, etc.).  My point is that psychotropic drugs are very powerful and I'm am thrilled that you are finally seeing a competent physician.  I learned the hard way not to believe everything I am told just because someone has an "M.D." after their name.  I almost gave up on psychiatrists completely...just couldn't find anyone who was really trained with Bipolar.  I always checked the Internet for 'side effects' of any med (even antibiotics).  You are so young, which is great, and you have a full life ahead of you.  Once you are completely stabilized on the right meds, you will be so pleased to find that life can become pretty normal again.  I have BP 1 and haven't had a manic episode in over six months!  That's a miracle.
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543837 tn?1214352355
Thank you for your response and advice about the mood chart and journal.  I have had problems before with trying to explain how I felt previously in a different mood because I couldn't rationalize why I felt that way in the current state.  It's like I'm trying to represent someone else's opinion and give supportive backup on something I don't agree with.  Also it's hard to remember how many swings what kind of swings and the duration.  I think this will help me and my Doctor manage my disease better.  

Thank you so much!
Alley
Helpful - 0
403156 tn?1290150018
I am glad to hear you have finally found a great doctor that will actually listen to you. I too am bipolar II. I felt like I was reading about myself in some of your post about school. I have definitely been there. Now that I have accepted this illness and am on medications, I hope I never return to that state again. You are definitely not alone and that story is all too common. I suggest reading everything you can about this disorder. The more informed you are, the better. Journal and keep track of how you are doing. If you are not already doing so, try a mood chart. This helps track your moods, medications, etc and you can bring it to your doctor appointments - this will help him see how you are doing. It is easy to forget to mention things or speak in vague terms. Journaling and mood charts helps freshen your memory and that way you will not forget to mention things. The more your doctor knows about you, the better. And it sounds like your doctor is really trying to do that, which is great.

feel free to ask me anything,
Jen
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