Hi I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar disorder ll .Alot of the things that you wrote I could relate to.Except that I wasn't at school,I was at work ,trying to be a mom to my kids, trying to be a good wife ,and trying to keep my house running.I actually couldn't even get off the couch to do anything.I didn't want to get up and go to work,I didn't even want to get up to take showers or anything.I did go to work everyday which was extremely hard.I had a couple meltdowns at work.One of my meltdowns I was going to just walk out,because all I wanted to do was runaway.I didn't know where I would go,but I figured that everyone would be better if I wasn't around.My bipolar was triggered by someone very very close to me dying the january of "07". I am know starting to heal.I ended going to a psychiatrist( which I did not want to)and it was the best thing I could have done for myself.I don't know where I would be if I hadn't.I am now on 80 mgs of prozac and also 200 mgs of Lamictal.Thank goodness for my husband.He understood everything,he was there for me the entire time and kept being positive so I didn't give up ,which I wanted to do a couple of times.I was also diagnosed with ocd,I had a double whammy ( bipolar type ll and also ocd) working against each other and also against me.I am glad you are doing better.I know personnaly I don't ever want to go back to that state ever again.Good Luck with everything....~AMY~
I'm glad you found a doctor that seems to know what he's doing, but be sure your'e complete in all of your symtoms. Keeping a journal may help. This will allow the doctor to prescribe the appropriate medications and determine if there is more than one issue other than bipolar disorder. I suffer panic attacks also, plus other things, although my primary diagnosis is bipolar I. I've also have found that counseling can be helpful(it has for me). Additionally, there are several other things which can help bipolar disorder such as exercise, diet, proper sleep and meditation. Good Luck!
Michael
Jen...I had to go to several psychiatrists before I found a good one. I also experienced a psychiatrist putting me on a powerful drug without ever evaluating me (early in my illness). It was Cymbalta. They didn't even consider the meds that I already told them I was highly allergic to that are in the same family of meds. I was so new to having a "condition" of any sort and had never had to take long-term medication. I was naive. Even though I brought my sensitivity to psychotropics to the doctors "assistant" attention, he insisted that this was the new miracle drug. Sure enough, within 2 weeks, I was rushed to the emergency room for severe medical reaction to the med (made my heart pound out of my chest, closed up my throat, etc.). My point is that psychotropic drugs are very powerful and I'm am thrilled that you are finally seeing a competent physician. I learned the hard way not to believe everything I am told just because someone has an "M.D." after their name. I almost gave up on psychiatrists completely...just couldn't find anyone who was really trained with Bipolar. I always checked the Internet for 'side effects' of any med (even antibiotics). You are so young, which is great, and you have a full life ahead of you. Once you are completely stabilized on the right meds, you will be so pleased to find that life can become pretty normal again. I have BP 1 and haven't had a manic episode in over six months! That's a miracle.
Thank you for your response and advice about the mood chart and journal. I have had problems before with trying to explain how I felt previously in a different mood because I couldn't rationalize why I felt that way in the current state. It's like I'm trying to represent someone else's opinion and give supportive backup on something I don't agree with. Also it's hard to remember how many swings what kind of swings and the duration. I think this will help me and my Doctor manage my disease better.
Thank you so much!
Alley
I am glad to hear you have finally found a great doctor that will actually listen to you. I too am bipolar II. I felt like I was reading about myself in some of your post about school. I have definitely been there. Now that I have accepted this illness and am on medications, I hope I never return to that state again. You are definitely not alone and that story is all too common. I suggest reading everything you can about this disorder. The more informed you are, the better. Journal and keep track of how you are doing. If you are not already doing so, try a mood chart. This helps track your moods, medications, etc and you can bring it to your doctor appointments - this will help him see how you are doing. It is easy to forget to mention things or speak in vague terms. Journaling and mood charts helps freshen your memory and that way you will not forget to mention things. The more your doctor knows about you, the better. And it sounds like your doctor is really trying to do that, which is great.
feel free to ask me anything,
Jen