If you read my previous post you would notice that I make mention of my Drug and alcohol counsellor. Is that someone in denial? I believe that is someone who is taking her addiction pretty seriously!
Regardless I do not believe that a 17 yro should have the right to dictate to his parents how they should conduct their lives. Nor should he be allowed to try and hold my household to ransom when the issues are not that simple. (I have made mention twice of the abuse I suffered at the hands of my father) I do not wish to continue to be abused by my son. And yes it is abuse/bullying one and the same. You grasp hold of one thing as he does without viewing the bigger picture.
My drug and alcohol counsellor thought I was making progress (these things do not change overnight) until my son sabotaged the whole situation. I was getting things under control. But the slightest tension sends me into a spin. When I perceive that someone is treating me similarly to my father that is a trigger. I have only just found this out on Monday. So give me a break. I've got a lot on my plate. I only just admitted to the sexual abuse from my dad, I only just found out I have BP, I am only just getting over my Four suicide attempts within the span of a month, I am still trying to live with PTSD and depression and anxiety and grief as well as trying to do all the other usual stuff. So cut me some slack.
I'm pretty direct, the reason being is, I'm not the type to candy coat issues, but in the hope that you see the other side of things, having an addiction is rough in many ways and it affects the whole family. Knowing you have an issue is the first step, the next stop is to get support to stop drinking if you chose to.
I wish you the best of luck,
LCC
Thank you for your unconditional support.
I can understand why your son is worried about your drinking, the fact is you shouldn't be drinking at all. . I take that as concern, and by what you've said you have an addiction. Regardless of how much you or you think you drink, I'm going to be honest, one drink is too many.. I would not blame your son for your drinking, not only are you in your own denial, but you're hurting him too.
""when he starts to use passive aggressive behaviour. And so I begin self medicating""
One drink or ten drinks to get by is self-medication. My pdoc said he will not treat BP folks until they are clean and sober, how can you work on family's issues until you work on your own. I can imagine your son feels you are a hypocrite. I would think about. My brother used to get angry at me if I had one drink because I'm his baby sister and he's addicted to drugs, do you see my point?
Truth be told its not that odd a drop. I have battled with drinking since the onset of my PTSD. However, when I get a handle on it and it becomes a more normal level i.e. social this is when he starts to use passive aggressive behaviour. And so I begin self medicating. I must add that I am not rolling drunk, just tipsy enough to help me feel relaxed.
I have organised for a family meeting tomorrow with my drug and alcohol counsellor. I think that he will be able to express best the nature of my drinking.
Its hard to explain things just in a short note and I'm sure it probably looks like I'm a drunk, but its not really that bad.
I wonder if his anger is a result of him not being able to accept/understand what is really going on with you and your BP. Perhaps he needs to talk to someone from outside of the family, ie, a Therapist to look at his feelings about the subject. He is lashing out at you because he feels safe doing so - we hurt the ones we love is very true.
He sounds confused and troubled. To him he is going to latch on to the odd drop of alcohol that you drink - i take it that it is only the odd drop. He knows that alcohol can cause mood changes so to him he thinks that the alcohol must be the real cause of your problems - it is real to him because he can see it. So therefore, it needs to be removed and everything will magically be ok.
Working with teens you know that things are very black and white to them at that age.
I hope I've made a little sens here :-s I think my advice is to get him to talk to a counsellor/therapist. It will have been hard for him seeing his mum poorly and not being like other mum's. I know you've done everything you can and not hurt him in any way, but he will have seen you when you've been ill, he will be aware of differences between his own family and other families and is probably battling a mixture of shame and then guilt for feeling shame etc.
Hugs