Should I Tie Them?

[Soulwaker]

This will be my second child, so I will have one boy and one girl. This is also my second failed attempt at finding a good guy for myself and kids. I have had issues with every kind of birth control since my first, and when I was talking to someone the other day it got me thinking that maybe I should get my tubes tied.
There are so many guys out there that will actually refuse to date a woman with kids just because they aren't "their" kids as they like to put it.
For a long time I'd hoped the next father of my child was going to be a keeper, and that would be super special. But now I will already have two kids by two different Dad's and I don't want any future guys to alienate my kids just because they aren't blood related. I also don't want the chance of anymore kids from another deadbeat dad. And since I avoid birth control from all the bad side effects... pretty much all that lead me to think I should just get them tied and be done with it. When I researched it, I read that clamps and ties can be undone, but may prove uncomfortable, and some have still gotten pregnant from them. My doctor wants to sear the cords, so make it completely perminant, and though she said it is possible for a procedure to unclamp or untie, she says they are usually not successful for conception again.
I have pretty much decided just to do the perminent one since I doubt I'd be able to afford the replacement procedure anyways, and to avoid future temptations and just leave things open to maybe adopt instead if I ever do choose to have other kids.
My son says he would like brothers/sisters after this, but with how hard this pregnancy has been I honestly don't think I could handle another one.

Still this is a very big decision, and I have less than 6 weeks to change my mind. So, I would really appreciate some others opinions.

[Belle313]

I admire your responsible approach SoulWalker. I really hope you cross paths with a stand up guy who is good to you and your kids.  He may or may not have any kids of his own. Tubal ligation is considered permanent sterilization and reversing the ligation or restoring tube function in hopes of becoming pregnant isn't a sure thing and most insurance plans won't pay for it. If you were to change your mind and try for baby #3 (if you wanted a biological baby) I would think IVF would be your best option. Depending on where you live IVF is sometimes covered.  Tube function isn't needed for IVF.  Eggs are aspirated from your ovaries, fertilized in a lab and then placed in your uterus. It's not romantic but it will hopefully result in pregnancy.

I wish you all the best in whatever choice you make and I hope you find someone wonderful for you and the kids.

[dasart13]

So I typed this once and some reason it didn't post.

I'm on my 2nd pregnancy. My first sons father is a piece of ****, plain and simple. My current bf is a good guy, but didn't withhold his end of a prepregnancy agreement we had made. So I now no longer wish to have more kids with him. I refuse to have 3 kids, with 3 different guys. So I'm getting mine tied.

At first I wanted my tubes tied, burnt, ripped out and thrown to the wolves. I was so pissed that I was pregnant a 2nd time. We'll randomly over the last couple of months I've had a strong urge to try for a girl since I'll soon now have my 2 boys.

But again my bf has pissed me off so severely, that I don't see how it'd be worth it in the least to have another with him. So I'm done. I'll just attempt to adopt if I want another that badly in the future.

It's depressing, but I try to cheer myself up by saying I'm 18 years closer to being able to sit around naked, smoking weed all day and drinking at noon. Lol. I highly doubt that's how I actually turn out to be when I'm older, but it does seem like one hell of a life for someone in their 40's.

[junebug18]

My opinion, It seems that your very realistic with yourself but I say don't settle on the thought that there is no man that will love you and your kids as your own, you never know. maybe if you did meet a man willing to accept your family what if he wanted to contribute to it. It's tuff. 3 kids would be VERY hard to raise on your own but they do have that T thing that can be removed if you choose to conceive. My friend who is having her second just had the same consideration and decided in the end even after signing to have her tubes tied to not do it. It is permanent and if you have to think twice about it don't do it. Also condoms are no fun but don't have side effects. Rethink your options before you make a decision