Aa
Alittle something to lighten your day :-)
--------------
"Memo to Cat"
--------------
1. When I say move, it means go somewhere else. It does not
mean switch positions with each other so there are still
two of you in the way.
2. The dishes on the floor are yours and contain your food.
All other dishes are mine and contain my food. (Please
note: placing a paw print in the middle of my dinner does
not stake your claim on it, nor do I find it aesthetically
pleasing in any way.)
3. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a
racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me does not help because I fall faster than you
can run.
4. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-size bed.
Remember sleeping felines can actually curl up into a ball.
It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other,
stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
5. For the last time, humans like to use the bathroom
alone. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to
get the door shut, it won't help to claw, meow, bite the
handle or get your paw under the edge and try and pull the
door open. (Trust me, I've been using the bathroom for
years and I can cope without supervision).
6. When you see me asleep on the couch, it is not funny to
make a sudden leap onto my stomach and paw my face, no
matter how much it makes other family members laugh.
7. My sitting down to bite into a tasty sandwich is not a
signal for you to casually look on from your perch, then
begin gagging loudly and hocking up the most disgusting
hairball in history.
8. The proper order is to kiss me, then go lick yourself. I
cannot stress this enough.
To pacify you I have left the following message on the
front door:
---------------------------------------------------------
Rules for non-pet owners who visit and complain about our
cats:
---------------------------------------------------------
* They live here; you don't.
* If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off
the furniture.
* Like a customs officer at an airport, if you don't act
naturally, they'll choose to search your bags before
sniffing you for strange smells then checking out any
unusual footwear.
* Finally, I like my cats more than I like most of
my visitors!
Wishing you many laughter and smiles in your household.
"Memo to Cat"
--------------
1. When I say move, it means go somewhere else. It does not
mean switch positions with each other so there are still
two of you in the way.
2. The dishes on the floor are yours and contain your food.
All other dishes are mine and contain my food. (Please
note: placing a paw print in the middle of my dinner does
not stake your claim on it, nor do I find it aesthetically
pleasing in any way.)
3. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a
racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me does not help because I fall faster than you
can run.
4. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-size bed.
Remember sleeping felines can actually curl up into a ball.
It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other,
stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
5. For the last time, humans like to use the bathroom
alone. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to
get the door shut, it won't help to claw, meow, bite the
handle or get your paw under the edge and try and pull the
door open. (Trust me, I've been using the bathroom for
years and I can cope without supervision).
6. When you see me asleep on the couch, it is not funny to
make a sudden leap onto my stomach and paw my face, no
matter how much it makes other family members laugh.
7. My sitting down to bite into a tasty sandwich is not a
signal for you to casually look on from your perch, then
begin gagging loudly and hocking up the most disgusting
hairball in history.
8. The proper order is to kiss me, then go lick yourself. I
cannot stress this enough.
To pacify you I have left the following message on the
front door:
---------------------------------------------------------
Rules for non-pet owners who visit and complain about our
cats:
---------------------------------------------------------
* They live here; you don't.
* If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off
the furniture.
* Like a customs officer at an airport, if you don't act
naturally, they'll choose to search your bags before
sniffing you for strange smells then checking out any
unusual footwear.
* Finally, I like my cats more than I like most of
my visitors!
Wishing you many laughter and smiles in your household.
thank you...i loved it and i hope its ok if i print it out and hang it on my door since i have them kind of people that gripe about them.....thank you very much had a good laugh...deb
great list! the funny thing is that you can be sure that a cat loves you when he bothers the **** out of you!
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