My boyfriend's daughter is the same age and exhibits nearly ALL of those exact same qualities, and she was diagnosed with ADHD--so I wonder if that could be a contributing factor at all? Being loud, messy, immature, and forgetful are all behaviors that are linked to the disorder. I would definitely look into it, but otherwise, tookielou had a good idea--have you involved her in any sort of kids sports teams or activities? Look at her unique qualities as a strength and try to find an activity that can harness her energy and utilize it to her advantage. Team sports will teach her discipline, self-control, coordination, and how to get along with others her own age. It doesn't neccessarily matter what gender she gets along best with, or what sport she chooses to play as long as she has fun and is social.
I would seek out a different specialist. no two specialist are alike, maybe someone else can shed some light on her development. I would also get her involved with "boy" activities since she seem more comfortable with them; for example, football or la cross. in my area there are a couple of girls on the teams. Good luck. :)