3 1/2 year old eating issues...basically since birth...need HELP

[Jennybdot]

My 3 1/2 year old has had eating issues basically since birth.  He was a preemie and ended up being diagnosed with severe acid reflux, not the spitting up type, rather the kind that causes burning when eating/drinking.  The diagnosis took way to long and only happened due to my relentless efforts and finally a doctor that listened.  Then it took awhile to find a drug that worked.  So basically since birth he has had quite an aversion to eating.  At 3 1/2 he eats only steak, chicken, fries, chips, peanut butter, pizza and two kinds of pureed fruit.  He refuses to eat any whole fruits or vegetables.  And he only drinks water and milk.  
I feel like the issue is a fear issue...maybe memory from before the acid reflux was treated?  He refuses to try anything new.  He seems genuinely scared of it.  I've talked to many peds & read many books to no avail.  We've tried "hiding" new foods in those he likes and that only backfires because now he doesn't trust anyone with food that he is not familiar with.   He inspects everything carefully.  I'm tired of hearing from peds that "he's still growing, so don't worry".  I've tried so hard just to get him from his weight percentile around birth of 2% to 3% and finally 8%.  He only weighs 30 pounds at 3 1/2.  It's so difficult to pack his lunch for pre-school because there is such a small group of foods to pull from and his pre-school won't allow any tree nut products, so there goes the nutritious peanut butter!  Please help me and my little string bean!

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Listen, my son has sensory integration disorder and eating was an issue with him from the begining.  He choked and gagged easily and spit foods out.  This is sensory related---------- he has both motor planning problems where chewing food is difficult and texture issues, where some things are so disturbing to him in his mouth, he has a flight or fight response and spitting it out is what he must do.  Your son does NOT sound like he has these issues.  My son has trouble eating meat, anything chewy, etc. due to motor planning.  His nervous system does not give him the signal to chew properly (the choking).  Texture issues are a bit different.  You don't really describe that either due to the variety of textures that he WILL eat.

Your son sounds more like my second son.  He's a picky eater.  And at 3, it is a losing battle to keep fighting them on what they eat.  It just is.  It is one of a couple of areas that kids have some control (can't force feed them)--------  and many parents fight the issue to no avail.

What I did for both boys was to do the above mentioned sneaky tricks.  I would take carrot juice and mix it with orange, apple, grape.  I'd make smoothies and put fresh spinach leaves in it (they grind up where you can't see them in the blender), carrot juice, apple juice, frozen strawberries, a banana, some cinnomon and sugar and I have NEVER had a kid at my house not drink it.  It is delicious-----------  the worst of eaters have loved it.  I put things in any sauce I make.   If you make a meatball for him, grind up a veg and put it in.  I also buy juices that are mixed fruit/veg.  I do a gummie vitamin every day for my kids as well.  

So then kids turn 4 and 5.  Much better time (especially 5) to get them to try other foods.  My kids  know who Indiana Jones is and we talk about being adventurers.  Wanting to be adventurous with food is part of it.  We have a trying bowl that I will put something in.  My kids have to take one bite.  They don't have to eat any more if they don't like it but they must take one bite.  Oh, and from an occupational therapist---------- dips are a picky eaters best friend.  My sensory kid will eat carrots in ranch dressing, broccoli in barbeque sauce, celery dipped in melted cheese, etc.  

good luck

[lis51]

I have a difficult eater too, my advice is to leave him alone. Stick with the foods he likes, as to regain his trust.He is getting some nutrition. Just leave the food in front of him even if it takes him more time to eat.

As soon as he regains confidence you might try new foods. And be an example, have him watch you eating fruits and vegs next to him, enjoying but not making a show.

If this persists my advice is to have his throat checked, as it might be hurt from so much acid coming back, probably swallonwing hurts.

[jb41799]

Jenny, I tend to agree with margy although I understand and sympathize with your concern.  My 3 (almost 4) year old is exactly the same way except she tends to be on the much larger end (97th% and higher).  My daughter eats nearly no meats, is very picky and has shyed away from things because I've pushed.

You have to remember that at this age they are still getting most of their essentials from the milk and other areas.  Meats, etc. aren't a necessity yet.

Since he likes pureed fruit, try making him smoothing with them.  You can use Fage yogurt (greek yogurt with lots of protein), his favorite fruit and either milk or water or ice.  This may be your best bet in getting him to obtain the protein and nutrients he needs.

He will outgrow this, just take a step back for a little while.  As he gets older, he will see other kids eating things he doesn't and will want to try them as well.  I think, in order to address your concerns, the goal right now is to get him the nutrients he needs in a way that he will like them.

If you are going to try smoothies, make sure you have a good blender.  You can get the Ninja at Kohl's for around $99.  It's excellent!!!

[margypops]

Sorry but my opinion and thats all we give on this forum is that 'leaving it alone ' works ... from experience..too much badgering of children to eat foods they dont like does not work.it creates anxiety...

[AHP84]

Try this website for some recipies:  http://www. sneakychef. com/

(remove the spaces between the www and com).

I can vouch for at least two recipies from this site, as my co-worker brought in samples for us to try a couple of years ago. I remember one of the items he brought in was a batch of cookies his wife made from this site that included Navy beans as one of the main ingredients--but you'd never know it from the taste--the cookies tasted like, well, sugar cookies with a hint of the bean taste, but it was unidentifiable until he told me that taste was from the Navy beans.
Maybe you could give a few of the recipies a shot with your little guy and see if any of them are a success.
Best of luck!

[Jennybdot]

Thank you for your feedback, but his preschool has no part in frightening the parents or children.  This is my concern...that of a highly educated mother in the medical field.  To your suggestion of supplements,that was an obvious first try but he refuses to take supplements.
He may be happier if left to eat almost nothing, but when I see hypoglycemic episodes coming on, I think "leaving it alone" is no longer an option.

[margypops]

I think you are trying too hard and unknowingly creating an eating anxiety, his diet sounds okay many children do not like veg ..there are other fruits and things he can eat ,the pre school is part of what is going on today to frighten parents and children about eating .we will go from the fear created about obesity to many food disorders like anorexia .My opinion is to leave him be , it is your concern and I understand you want him healthy .children do not like veg and he will not suffer because of it. Get him onto a muliple food supplement VitC and Vit B Complex ..good luck if you leave it alone he will be happier .