3 yr old that wont go to bed

[ticked]

I am not sure what I am supposed to do.  My child never wants to sleep. I dont blame her for not wanting to nap at school, but they force her to and I dont like that because when she naps there she doesnt sleep until 10:30pm at night.  latley she keeps saying she wants to sleep with me, but I cant have her sleep with me because she doesnt sleep she goofs around and is restlessor hours and I am tired.  How do I get her to sleep???? I have tried everything, i dont even think that the nanny would be able to get her down

[blondie111]

Laura thanks a million for your advice,i will def try it and hopefully it will work because i am recked at this stage, and with the last 2 weeks i have given in and just lied down with him, he is saying that he is nervous of going to sleep on his own and at the moment i am finding during the evening time that he will not go up stairs to the toilet on his own saying the same thing that his to scared, i ask him of what and he says bad dreams, so now i have cut out most of the television times incase something he is watching on that would be scaring him, i really have tried everything like for example he loves going to his friends house in the afternoon when i finish work and i have stopped that and told him that when he goes to bed on his own then i will allow him see that friend again, what i havent black mailed him with at this stage.......everything.

[laura1977]

My daughter is like that too, she won't go into the bathroom at night unless I go in there to turn the light on first.  Kids have great imaginations.  The bed thing, you might take him to the store to find a cool night light that he can pick out, and also I leave the door cracked at night so they do have some light from the hallway coming in.  
You probably did what I always did and rock your child to sleep when he was little, which I think that is just great because kids need that, it just makes it harder when they get older to go to sleep on their own.  That is why you go in there to put him back to bed because then he knows you are there, but you can't talk to him because then he is getting mommys attention which he wants.  When we did this with my girls, it took about 2 nights to get them to go to bed without issues.  The first two nights each of the girls threw big fits, but your son will get tired sooner or later and give up.  You won't get a lot of sleep at first, but imagine how nice it will be after that when you can put him to bed and then you have free mommy time.  This can be done because my 5 year old when she was little had colic really bad and I don't think I slept through a night till she was 2.
You can always do a chart with little stickers for everynight he goes in there without issues he gets to put a sticker on the chart.

[blondie111]

Thanks i think that is a good idea about the chart, i will print one off today at work and get some stickers after, i do think it will take him a long if not a week or so to get back to his routine of going to bed alone again, as i have read in some of the forums, when other mums are having problems like mine, then begin putting there child to bed real early which i might try for a few nights, because at least then i wont be giving in so quickley and i can fight this for a good few hours, it's hard because when i do put him into bed like you said he just runs straight back out again and im down stairs so he will sit on the stairs for hours, if that was me id give in but no his a fighter, the bed situation why is was in my bed all along that was more comfort for me because it's just the two of living at home, but thats a step ill have to sort through as well.

[laura1977]

What kind of bed does he have?  A big boy bed or one of those toddler beds?  That was the other thing that got my 5 year old to go to sleep by herself, we got her a new bed two years ago, and new comforter and stuff.  Made it look really pretty and she loved it.  
Oh heres another idea, get some of those glow in the dark stars to put on his ceiling so he has something neat to look at in the dark.

[blondie111]

Thanks again, but yes he has a lovely room, i have it all done up in the simpsons and he has a big bed, i also did that i covered all his ceiling in his bedroom with glow in the dark stars about 1 year ago but no luck there,  but his a great boy and treats me very good except for bedtime his graet to help around the house and his not spoiled, i hope this is only a phase for me because its not easy being a single mum, i have a partner who my son adores but were not living together....

[djwray]

If you figure out how to get him to bed please let me know. My 3 year old son is up going strong at  ten eleven at times twelve.