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4 years old fast mood changes
my daughter started pre-school this year and her teacher had some problems with her stubbornness from the very beginning but now the teacher says that she observes disruptive behavior, pouting, student gets upset when corrected, misbehaves after receiving reinforcement, lack of compliance, disrespectful arguing, inappropriate laughing. She says that my daughter tries to attract attention even it is a bad attention. She also says that she noticed a very fast mood changes when my daughter is very upset and sad after getting in trouble to extremely happy screaming. I also noticed that sometimes she does not stay sad when she supposed to and jumps to a happy mood. Another problem that for example at the dance class she would stop doing everything that teacher says and stand in the corner without explaining what the reason for that or gets too active and loud. My question is what can cause this misbehavior and how to correct it. Thank you
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her birthday is May, 7th and she is Taurus. I am also Taurus and probably she is double stubborn because of it... :(
yes, she is loud at hoe too and she is hyper.. but she loves to go to the school even with all the rules there and it was fine in the beginning. I do not know what she is going through lately that everything got worse.......
The teacher let them sit quietly at the mat if they don't want to sleep but she answers her "no" sometimes....and the teacher does put her to time out when my daughter is bad
The teacher let them sit quietly at the mat if they don't want to sleep but she answers her "no" sometimes....and the teacher does put her to time out when my daughter is bad
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Ummm, another question is when is your daughters birthday? She could be the youngest in her class
What ever her age, as a retired elementary school principal, I agree with specialmom completely. What you do at home (at this age) will have no carry over to the school. The problem is the young and kind teacher. Hey, we all have to start somewhere. I've been there. The point is this really is the teachers problem to deal with (in a fair, consistent, immediate way). You need to be supportive where possible. As specialmom suggested, there are some things you can work on at home, but most of what she is doing seems pretty typical to me. You definitely need to go and observe what is happening. If your work schedule allows it - volunteering now and then to help out, might help all concerned. Best wishes!
What ever her age, as a retired elementary school principal, I agree with specialmom completely. What you do at home (at this age) will have no carry over to the school. The problem is the young and kind teacher. Hey, we all have to start somewhere. I've been there. The point is this really is the teachers problem to deal with (in a fair, consistent, immediate way). You need to be supportive where possible. As specialmom suggested, there are some things you can work on at home, but most of what she is doing seems pretty typical to me. You definitely need to go and observe what is happening. If your work schedule allows it - volunteering now and then to help out, might help all concerned. Best wishes!
Well. she would not lay down or would not line up to go somewhere and go sit the block center and sometimes screamed and kicked. The does not do screaming at home as I would not listen to it and find a way to stop it but her teacher is too young and too kind and hasn't found an approach to her. Anyway yesterday I visited the office of the head of the school as my daughter was pulled to the office twice already and today she again got two notes about her bad behavior at the nape time and that she trowed a tantrum that she did not get a smily face in the end of the day and it ended up with screaming. I am totally frustrating and do not know what to do in this situation. I took all her privileges away: TV, desert, toys and this does not help......What else can I do?
Hi. Well, your daughter is only 4. Preschool is suppose to be a fun place that kids enjoy. Just based on your description, this preschool she is in seems quite rigid. I don't think my son who is 6.5 and in 1st grade has as strict a teacher. I understand that she is being disruptive but that is such a comprehensive list and so detailed in a way that sounds like she is in later elementary years vs. preschool. Something to think about---------- she may just not gel well with this preschool enviroment. I know she starts kindergarten in the near future and you want to get her ready-------- but you also don't want to send her somewhere that is going to make her dislike school right off the bat. Just my opinion on that. But preschool should be a fun experience for kids and with my own, it really was.
Now, don't think I don't understand. My oldest child has sensory integration disorder which was diagnosed while he was in preschool. A teacher there thought there might be an issue and suggested we have him evaluated and yes, he indeed has sensory integration disorder. That is why he struggled in preschool.
I think before you assume it is just bad behavior, I'd think about what triggers it. Is your daughter overwhelmed at dance, for example? (my son was and behaved this same way. But his nervous system was out of whack and he could not help it). In school, what preceeds all of the behavior issues they are having? What is the full story vs. just a list of what she does wrong? They should observe her to give you that piece of it as well? Such as, during free play (when issues may surface with various kids)--- she becomes agitated. She has an issue with sharing the puzzles. Then X hapened. You need more information is what I'm trying to tell you. Understanding what is at the root of her behavior is the only way to really change it for good. Can you go and observe a couple of days? Even if you work, it would be worth taking the day off to do that. See for yourself what happens during the day.
I can only say that you don't give any characteristics of her in general but just the school list. If for example, she has some trouble catching onto the dance routines and it frustrates her--------- well, a 4 year old reaction to that might be to run to the corner and refuse to do it. Perhaps they are hard for her because she has a bit of difficulty with motor planning (a nervous system/brain processing function). Perhaps she does not participate in class room activities because she is having trouble staying mentally focased and needs to move around to do so.
The mood swings--------- that seems like 4 year old behavior to me. And when my boy was 4 and in preschool, at a parent meeting with the teacher, the school director and the therapist that helped with my son (as he was being diagnosed with sensory issues at the time) were there. The teacher said that my son would do something that he knows is bad. And he would start laughing or smiling. The teacher wanted to know if he was being manipulative or if it were part of sensory. The therapist said that it is a reaction to his sensory disorder. He is a smart boy and some things are out of his control and he does not know what to do at that time, so he would laugh. It is a coping mechanism to stress. (ever hear of someone laughing uncontrollably at a funeral;?)
So go observe and see what you think is going on. Any discipline if you decide to go that route has to be handled at the time of the incident (as in school) and should not take place after the fact at home for a 4 year old.
Good luck. Parenting is the hardest gig around!
Now, don't think I don't understand. My oldest child has sensory integration disorder which was diagnosed while he was in preschool. A teacher there thought there might be an issue and suggested we have him evaluated and yes, he indeed has sensory integration disorder. That is why he struggled in preschool.
I think before you assume it is just bad behavior, I'd think about what triggers it. Is your daughter overwhelmed at dance, for example? (my son was and behaved this same way. But his nervous system was out of whack and he could not help it). In school, what preceeds all of the behavior issues they are having? What is the full story vs. just a list of what she does wrong? They should observe her to give you that piece of it as well? Such as, during free play (when issues may surface with various kids)--- she becomes agitated. She has an issue with sharing the puzzles. Then X hapened. You need more information is what I'm trying to tell you. Understanding what is at the root of her behavior is the only way to really change it for good. Can you go and observe a couple of days? Even if you work, it would be worth taking the day off to do that. See for yourself what happens during the day.
I can only say that you don't give any characteristics of her in general but just the school list. If for example, she has some trouble catching onto the dance routines and it frustrates her--------- well, a 4 year old reaction to that might be to run to the corner and refuse to do it. Perhaps they are hard for her because she has a bit of difficulty with motor planning (a nervous system/brain processing function). Perhaps she does not participate in class room activities because she is having trouble staying mentally focased and needs to move around to do so.
The mood swings--------- that seems like 4 year old behavior to me. And when my boy was 4 and in preschool, at a parent meeting with the teacher, the school director and the therapist that helped with my son (as he was being diagnosed with sensory issues at the time) were there. The teacher said that my son would do something that he knows is bad. And he would start laughing or smiling. The teacher wanted to know if he was being manipulative or if it were part of sensory. The therapist said that it is a reaction to his sensory disorder. He is a smart boy and some things are out of his control and he does not know what to do at that time, so he would laugh. It is a coping mechanism to stress. (ever hear of someone laughing uncontrollably at a funeral;?)
So go observe and see what you think is going on. Any discipline if you decide to go that route has to be handled at the time of the incident (as in school) and should not take place after the fact at home for a 4 year old.
Good luck. Parenting is the hardest gig around!
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Now, hey--------- this is just me. But when I read of parents that have 4 year olds in a situation in which everyone is forced to lay on a cot or mat to take a nap and their child is having difficulty------------ I think it is unnecessary that she has to do that. They should have alternative activities for 4 year olds that are unable to nap. Sleeping on command in the middle of the day is not easy for every child. As I've gotten older and my kids have worn me down, I could probably do that now . . . but for most years, I couldn't have. Can you? You pay to have her in the school--------- what are you paying the teachers for while the kids are sleeping? Nothing. Some kids are ready to give up a nap by the time they are 4. Does your child take a nap at home and is it at the exact same time as the nap at school? I do not like it when this "you must nap" rule is instilled into a child's day. Down time can be quietly looking at books or doing puzzles.
She may have trouble with transitions. What types of transitional warnings do they do? Are they giving her choices? Many kids that are difficult in school do much better when they are given lots of choices. Do they do that?
Is her voice naturally very loud and will go that way quickly? You might use a voice volume scale. Level one voice------- silent. Two---------- whisper. Three--------- regular talking voice. Four---------- playground, loud voice. Five---------- shouting/emergency voice. Have the teacher talk about this with the class. You use it at home. And then you can cue her to quiet her voice as she raises it. We had this scale with my son when he was 4 so she is certainly old enough to get it. The teacher can also say things like "I'll be happy to listen to you when you stop shouting."
I still think you need to look at the root cause of her actions at school. There always is one of some sort. You need to go and observe her for a full day. See for yourself.
Good luck---------- remember, do not punish after the fact. That is insult to injury to a child that is being taught right up front that school isn't the funnest place and Mommy gets mad about it. Who would have a good attitude about it with that?