My 5 yr old boy says his 13 yr old female cousin molested him

[amanda10875]

I would like advice on how to handle a situation. My children, 3 and 5, spent the night with their aunt and cousins, 12 and 13. My 5 year old son came home, and informed me that his 13 year old female cousin molested him. He said she showed him her breasts, had him touch them, and performed oral sex on him. I do not question he is telling me the truth at all, but of course my sister in law denies it, and believes her daughter. His story has not changed AT ALL, and my 3 yr old daughter backs up his story. My son doesn't seem to be acting any different, other than never wanting to see his cousin again. Should I take him to a psychologist? And should I do anything about the cousin? She clearly needs help, and the mother isn't going to get it for her. I just don't know how to handle this situation. My husband and I have of course reassured my son he did nothing wrong, and he knows we believe him, but what else can I do to try and keep this from "scarring" him? I want to do whatever I can to help him, and try my best to prevent future problems related to this.

[margypops]

I think that you already believe your children its how you speak to your sister thats important here as her daughter  may do the same with other children ,I also question why the children wre't supervised when they were straying over, could the 13 year old have had any abuse happen to her, I doubt if your son will be scarred for life but I like the others here feel that you should seek professional advice how to carefully handle the situation.good Luck  

[yngdad]

I'm a survivor as well, get ur son some help now. Ur daughter to if she saw this act. Call the police on this girl. Who knows how many kids she's done this too, or how many she may in the future.

[Ashelen]

Oh jeez I am so sorry honey...it's time to get the professionals and the authorities involved. You need to send your son to a psychiatrist because this goes beyond something that's going to be easily explained away or forgotten...and even though seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist may seem like it would be traumatizing, they can help you learn methods to cope with this issue has it comes up at home. even though his behavior hasn't changed, this IS going to affect him...this is coming from a survivor of sexual abuse as a child. I was molested by my older cousin when I was ages 2-5 and it affected me for a long long time even though my parents assumed I would forget or "get over it". It took a lot of counseling and soul-searching before I was able to feel normal and healthy and happy inside....but it is possible to recover from, so don't feel hopeless.

Sadly because your sister-in-law is denying this and refuses to acknowledge this problem and get her daughter help, you're going to have to tell the authorities. Only because this little girl needs HELP. she was probably molested, herself. there's NO way your 5-year-old came up with this idea and there's NO reason to expect he would make up or even be capable of thinking up something like this....and the 13-year-old is not only in crisis within her own mind but she's capable of doing this to other small children and needs help NOW. It breaks my heart that your sister-in-law won't seek help for her own child....but because your child has now been victimized you need to report this.


it's entirely possible for your little boy to grow up normal and healthy and happy, but it needs to be approach carefully to make sure that he has no lingering insecurities or scars coming from this incident....and that's what professional counseling will be able to help you guys make sure that you're handling this the right way.


I'm so sorry that this happened to your little boy it's got to be heart-breaking as a parent. But he will be just fine with the love of his two loving parents who are obviously doing everything they can for him, and as long as you make sure you have professional direction (if you don't want him to be in counseling the thing I would advise would be for you and your husband to attend a few sessions to learn some coping methods from the counselor so that when this issue comes up you know how to respond, and so that you know what signs to look out for that this may have affected him long term...but I really do recommend that he himself receive the counseling at least for a little while. I don't think he'll need years of counseling as long as you nip this in the bud...my parents didn't and it took years of "catching up" for me to get over it, but since you guys are doing this NOW he should be fine).