7 Year old behavior problems

[kinlow]

I am at my wits end with my 7 year old son.  First let me say, he and his 3 1/2 siblings were adopted.  I know their mother used drugs, but not how much, how often, etc.  I know she was using meth when he was very young, but don't know if she used it while pregnant.  I am trying to homeschool him.  He refuses to do his work.  In addition he gets into EVERYTHING the minute my back is turned.  He breaks things.  He has opened multiple packages that have come in the mail that were gifts for himself and his siblings.  Then he took the gifts and opened them and played with them!  All he wants to do is watch TV and play video or computer games.  I can not watch him at all times.....I also have a 30 year old with special needs at home who needs my attention.  Two of his siblings have been diagnosed with ADHD.  I have punished him for things and he doesn't care, he just does the same things again!  Its like he has no impulse control.  I also consider him very immature for his age, but he is the baby of the family.  I don't know if I am dealing with another ADHD problem or behavior issues or what here.........

[Sandman2]

   Hi, I am also the CL here - http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ADD---ADHD/show/175    and you may want to continue your discussion over there.
   There is a lot that can be done for ADHD kids, both in terms of studying and how they are disciplined.  As you are finding out, normal punishments do not work.  
   But, you do need to know if he does have ADHD - although his symptoms would certainly suggest it.  And having two siblings with it would certainly enhance the odds of him having it.   Perhaps what ever doctor is helping you with them could also give guidance.
    Anyway,  here is a good general overall look at adhd.
            http://www.medicinenet.com/parenting_a_child_with_adhd/article.htm
      You might want to get the book, "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley. about $11 on Amazon.   You will find it very helpful.
       I also have some very specific links on most problems.  For example, whether he has ADHD or not this will help with home studies.
          http://www.additudemag.com/slideshow/35/slide-1.html?utm_source=eletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=October
       Hope this helps. Let me know if you need more info.
  By the way, if the school could not handle his medical condition - they should be helping out with his home schooling.   You need to talk with the districts special ed department.   It sounds like they basically kicked him out due to a medical condition which is illegal.

[AnnieBrooke]

In other words, if you can get that physical problem handled successfully, you might find that a lot of the restlessness and antsy attitude also are much more manageable.  It might not be the birth mother's mystery drug use, or that might play less of a role, than you think.

[AnnieBrooke]

What have you done for the encopresis?  Has the doctor recommended he get a clean-out at the hospital?  I hear someone has to be on a stool softener every day for a year, after the cleanout, to allow the colon to heal completely and begin to contract normally.  Are you finding that to be true?

I ask because the two issues can sometimes be related.  We had a nephew with the problem -- he "held" because of stress and then could not function properly when he wanted to -- and because he was what my sister called "fulla sh t" he was restless, antsy, miserable, imagining boogeymen behind him on the basement stairs and freaking out, and so on.  I hope your pediatrician knows a lot about encopresis, it is not commonly that well- understood by many pediatricians.

[kinlow]

He WAS in public school.  His three siblings are still.  He has chronic constipation and encopresis.....which means he has pooping accidents and the school could not handle it.  That is why I am homeschooling him.  Some days are better than others.  AND the public school had the same problem with him not doing his work.  I have only been homeschooling for about a month.  I have several different books to use, so he is not constantly stuck in one.  I have read and read about different ways kids learn, and have tried several.

[AnnieBrooke]

Honey, are you sure home schooling is the best option?  If he was in a public-school setting, they would be able to tell you right away if this is ADHD or something else or just being an overactive 7-year-old.  He certainly would not have access to TV, video and computer games that he could turn to the moment he was bored with his classwork.  You do sound like you have your hands full, and there is a lot to be said for public schools.  Even in our school district (which is chronically strapped for cash) they take on very hard cases and they have a professional counselor in every grade school who is able to assess the kids if they need it and advise the parents, and work out plans together.