I might suggest you post on the Child Behavior Expert Forum where you could get advice from a medical doctor. This sounds serious. I wish you the best ...
Kids of this age don't adjust easily to change. I don't know how long you have been with Mom in the new house, but, I would think that at least part of this is the new move.
I don't know what you do when he won't stay in bed, but if he gets to sleep with you or watch tv until he falls asleep - he won't change. Tough love. Don't let him out of the room.
He won't take a shower alone? So what happens?
Boys of his age drawing bloody and gory things is not that unusual. It's easy to draw, fun, and mimics what they see in video games or on tv. If his actions are bloody and gory, that's a whole different matter.
I think the grabbing and the sexual questions kind of go together. Puberty is starting early or he has been watching some advanced tv.
He grabs any private area. Go to an immediate timeout - at least 20 min. I don't know how your grounding works, but the punishment has to be immediate! Grounding tends to happen later and is not as effective. The timeout should be something like a chair in the corner where he can do nothing. Not sent to his room where he can play games.
He also seems like he is a bit starved for attention. New move can contribute. I don't know if you also have any other younger kids that he has to compete with. But along with the "tough love", do make some extra time for him. And if you have moved into a whole new neighborhood and left all the friends behind - its even harder for him. If he is able to go back into his old school, i would think a lot of this will end when that happens. If he is going to a new school - do all you can to make it familiar for him. Take him to it several times and walk the grounds before school starts. Do all you can to encourage new friends in the neighborhood, etc.
Great advice dad. My son is 7 and very curious as well. I make sure he knows its inappropriate to touch but that there are obvious differences between him and I. Without going into much detail my son is just 7. I agree you will spike their curiosity if you shun the subject. 9 is too old for the corner. My son is so curious about bloody things and just as scared at night. we constinously take things out of his room or have talks with regards to real and fiction. Kids are going to be exposed to it eventually hopefully later rather than sooner but they need to feel comfotable enough to come to their parents who an give them the right answers. If hes scared in the shower maybe you can leave the door ajar if it has a curtain or knock on the door to let him know you are around. I'm 38 and still scared to be alone in my house.lol I like yngdads post i think that is great advice and coming from a guy even makes it better.
Well thank u,ur post was good too.