9 year old with blankie and mothers teddy bear.

[loving_father_of_3_1105]

My daughter is 9 and a half now and I have full custody of my 2 girls 9 and 11 (separated in 2008 divorced in 2010).  I am concerned not so much that she has these (bears and blankie) but that her mother seems to be using these items to manipulate my 9 year old.
My daughter only uses them at night and some times carries them around the house in the morning.  My Daughter visits with her mother on weekends and my ex-wife sprays (bears and the blankie) them with her perfume every week.  When that was not good enough she gave her a bottle of her own to spray anytime she wants in my house.
I heard from my daughter after this weekend she was laying in bed with them crying saying she missed them so much and wants them back.  This is upsetting to the girls and not sure what to do about it.  The girls wanted to come live with me and they had there input.  Been through the court thing twice and not wanting to do it again.  I care a lot about all my kids and want them to grow up well balance adults but this seems to me, to be mind games and manipulation...   Please give me some input.

[margypops]

I am sure you are a really good Dad and I do understand your concern,so she is contradictory when she tells them maybe for them to feel better, that she wants them to live with her ? May I ask where your presant wife stands on this issue has she any opinion about it ? does she get on well with the children .

[loving_father_of_3_1105]

As I have already said, I have offered mid week visits but Mother does not want them.  She says she wants to get a job but has not found one in 2 1/2 half years.
My ex-wife says one thing and does another... She is just making the girls feel bad... especially the 9 year old.  My heart breaks for them.

[margypops]

yes plain olde mothers love .. the children miss her ,she misses them ,  maybe they should have more time together ..teddy and blankie are okay also perfume ....

[loving_father_of_3_1105]

I want what is best for my daughter and all my kids.  I understand what you are saying.
I have offered mid week visits but Mother does not want them.  She says she wants to get a job but has not found one in 2 1/2 half years.  She gave the kids up.  It was a bad situation.  It was very stressful to live there ( the kids use to live with her)  now it is fun time as there is no day to day stress only weekend fun.   I think this is confusing at least.  
I would still be married to her if she did not leave me for another man.  I have moved on and re-married now.  I could never do it without my new wife she is a God send.

[RockRose]

I'm very confused about your post.

I guess I don't really see what the connection with the bears,  blanket and perfume have to do with anything except they smell like her.

The second part of your post is confusing.  The "she's" and "they's" get confusing whether you're talking about daughters, mothers or bears and blankets.

It sounds like you're saying one weekend the mother lay in bed with the daughters and cried that she misses the daughters and wants them to come live with her.

I'm not sure this is mind games and manipulation,  sounds to me like a mother's love.  

The fact that mom loves them very very much,  and dad loves them very very much and both want the daughters to live with them primarily will help your daughters tremendously.  They may feel a little conflicted where they want to live,  but having both parents want them is the best thing in the world for them.

The scars that parents leave on kids by not wanting them are deep.  Your daughters are in a good place with both parents fighting for them.