ABUSED 2 YR OLD??

[Muffy1521]

Hi there, I'm a child care provider in need of some opinion or answers?
I'm taking care of a boy who's 2 and his parents have seen doctors and even had a neuro scan done for his head, because they don't know what's wrong with him. He's underdeveloped at 2 and a half. He has unusually small feet and just started walking. At times I will help feed him, and if I try to let him do it himself he screams and hits the table,fork, and himself in the face. He likes lines in the house, or outside(line that divides grass and the street). Constantly following a line dividing 2 rooms.....etc. He will crawl or walk around something (car) repeatedly. he also sits in a chair and will rock repeatedly for long periods of time.  Not too long ago, I noticed odd bruises on his face like someone had grabbed him hard on the jaw. There were 2 on one side, and one on the other side that was bigger  ( Thumb mark). When I asked about it, they said they saw it when he woke up. I'm super concerned. I really love this little guy and I'm really trying to help his behaviors. IE: hitting himself in the face and having LONG tantrums screaming and banging his head and feet on the floor for an hour at a time. I ignore him, but it really upsets the other kids, and also my tenants. Please help.

[OnoWino]

Seem like there are two problems here.
1. There is something wrong with his mental capacity.
2. One or both of his parents don't know how to handle his actions and have resorted to some form of cruelty to control it.
As a child care provider, who has suspicions of abuse, you know what your next step must (by law) be. This can be a very touchy situation. I wish you luck.

[babygirl6152]

autism sounds right- watch for more bruising-since they know you are watching.

I suggest letting the infant stay home with mom or with a one on one caregiver, since his screaming is upsetting the other children and the tenants.
Parents not accepting the diagnosis of autism? maybe natural buttttt it leaves you out on the sidelines to wonder how to work with him.

Autistic children, when taken from regular routine makes these kiddos melt down over such little things. Even a different table placement will make them cry. I knew a girl that sat at the same cafeteria spot for a year and one day they had to move "her table" You would have thoughts she had been injured. If the intercom system was broken and they couldnt say the pledge and make announcements from the office- we stood and had pledge in our own room. Your child's parents sought help and are in fact declining the help by their decision to disagree with the diagnosis.

I wish I could explain to you how much I know it sounds like child is spoiled- It certainly appears that way- new things are so odd to them,

It would be as odd as me telling you tomorrow- "we are all going to walk on our hands tomorrow- not on our feet." "We are going to start going to the bathroom in our pants and not in the toilet" Anything to you that seems like regular routine, THAT happens to be different than THEIR routine, BLOWS THEIR MIND/
I worked with a mom of one of these girls that could not take all the behavior problems that were connected to autism, and the teacher was always hounding the mom to get the girl to quit acting so spoiled. Maybe there were many other reasons than just this, but the mother committed suicide

[mybabies1999]

That really does sound like Autism. I had a friend with the same signs and she didn't even realize it until I pointed it out to her. I am not sure that I get the vibe these parents are taking this seriously. We certainly don't want to judge a parents parenting skills, however the first 2 years are the most important to diagnose a problem and get help if needed. The rocking in the chair, the lack of speech, the line following and the tantrums are classic signs of this and there are different levels of autism. Perhaps the parents need a second opinion or maybe printing off some info on autism and handing it to them would be beneficial. Some parents are in denial and the first physician that says nothing is wrong is what they want to hear and want to tell people, but the truth is that physicians can be wrong. The bruising can be caused on his own, but I personally wouldn't make that call unless I felt "very" strong that there was a possibility of abuse. If it proves to be wrong, the parents may get very offended with you and not want your care. Bottom line, these parents need to have this child re-evaluated with another physician.

[Muffy1521]

I've spoken to them again about the doctors thay have seen, and they say they've seen a specialist that diagnoses autism and they say it's NOT autism. They are waiting for results back on the neuro scan. I'm starting to think a LOT of his behavior is just plain spoiled. As sad as it sounds, He's been in my care for a couple of months now, and when he has tantrums after coming back from the weekend, they get shorter and shorter when he's with me. I ignore him when he has them and he will stop and walk away and go play with something. Also his speech has become WAY better since being at my house. He can actually sing along with us, and say a few words like please. Because I will not give it to him if he grunts and complains. He has to say it, adn now i dont even ask him to say it. he just does it. He also seems a lot happier now too. He smiles when he sees me and gets excited when i take a book out or play a game with all of us. He would also never try to walk down stairs, he just kept complaining and crying even when i offered my hand.he would hit it away from me. Eventually I left him on the stairs while the rest of the kids would play and then offer my hand again and finally he would take it. now he ALWAYS takes it and walks down on his own too :)
There are obviously some concerns still, like the lines, and also he will lye down on  the floor and roll something with wheels, like a car or truck for a long time.  He also does not chew his food, and for about a week, he would not eat anything at my house. He also grinds his teeth lots too?

[karen717]

If you report and there is no problem with abuse, there will be no harm done. Could he be causing the bruises himself by banging his head and such? I agree that there is an issue going on here that needs attention. Also, I wonder if they have REALLy taken him to these doctors. If they haven't, that is also abuse! I appreciate your caring and concern for this child. That is wonderful. Bless you. Keep us updated.
Karen

[margypops]

Go with your gut feeling better to be wrong than leave a child pain and being abused, is there someone you can discuss this with ,the bruises are suspect and he would act out if this was the case, at 2 he has just started walking have they said what they are doing ,are you sure they have seen the experts they state they have.Some of his behavior sounds like a child left alone for periods of time, you are very caring to see this and want to do something, time to put it on the line and find out if your gut is right. Please let us know how he fares, I believe you can anonimously call someone to ask what they think then take it from there.

[Nazish0102]

Hi Muffy

Has this kid ever been labelled with a diagnosis?

Some of the behaviours you mentioned come under the diagnosis of Autism and some others, like not walking till age 2 come under Cerebral Palsy. Ask the parents about the diagnosis may be they know something but they haven't told you. Tell them it will help you in taking proper care of this kid if you knew more about what he's suffering from.

Keep your eyes really on him if you suspect abuse. This could be have serious implications for the parents. But if you are really certain the child is in danger, do report.

Good luck