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Problem with 5yr old and 4 kittens
My (5 year old) daughter's father just got a new place with his girlfriend and at the same time they started having my daughter over they decided they wanted to get a kitten. My daughter loves cats (although she has sometimes played too rough with them in the past) so they wanted this to be a positive thing for my daughter and for them as well. The lady they got the kittens from wanted the litter gone and offered all 4 kittens for free so they ended up taking ALL of them. Now I'm hearing that my daughter is too rough with the kittens and even though she is told not to pick them up without supervision, she will, and then try to lie about it. She was caught shaking them up in a laundry basket and she will jump around them and he is scared she will crush one. I have always tried to emphasize being nice and gentle with animals and so I'm not sure what else to do especially when I'm not around to see what is going on. He thinks this problem lies solely in her and her misbehavior and that she should be responsible enough to do as shes told and not rough house with the kittens and should be disciplined more strictly. I think that maybe 4 kittens is too many in a small area with a young child. I don't want this situation to turn into resentment for anyone especially my daughter dealing with a new girlfriend and a "new home" as well. I'm not sure where to turn or if I should maybe try family or child counciling.
Best Answer
I would talk to your daughter and ask her "why" she does this to the kittens. It doesn't sound like anyone has addressed this with her. I also think 4 kittens at one time is over-whelming, it would be for me, and I love animals. These kittens are all over the place and she may just be trying to play with them while watching them them jumping, climbing and darting about. She hasn't hurt one, and putting them in a basket and shaking it doesn't sound to me like she was trying to hurt them at all, just maybe a little rough playing. As for stepping on one, how could you not! When mine was a kitten, we almost stepped on her many times because they are always at our feet. I think she would be fine with one kitten, 4 is just too much and over-whelming for her. Her father and girlfriend I'm sure meant well, but I'd hate to see this get blown out of proportion when it can't be helped. Five year olds are going to pick up kittens plain and simple, why have them for her is she can't hold them? Do they sit with her and show her how to best play with them? Doing this may show then how hard this is to do with 4! Maybe suggest that she be allowed to play separately with just one at a time and see how she does. Four kittens in one house.....I can't imagine. I wouldn't be running off to counseling with her at this point, if she really wanted to hurt one, she would have. It just sounds like play and neither of them have sat down with her during this or even looked at the problems of having four kittens around a 5 year old. That's where the problem lies. I know you feel caught in the middle, but I don't think her dad was thinking clearly on this, someone wanted unload a litter of cats and he fell for it. Now he has to see how this can affect a 5 year old running around with 4 kittens at her feet. One will get stepped on eventually by someone, it's inevitable. It's a tough situation for you, but it's about your daughter, so maybe talk to your ex about this. But I do think your daughter is fine, if nobody has shown her how to handle a squirming, climbing kitten, then just telling her does no good. They are also using their claws at this point, having this many kittens is not in HER best interest. I wish you all the best, good luck and take care.
I have given this a lot more thought and I don't think I will do counselling just yet. I like the idea of having just one at a time in the room with her. I don't know if she is being shown how to do it or just told, it was my understanding that she is just being told though. I will discuss this more with him. I do hope he downsizes the number of these kittens though because I just think it's too much for a 1 bedroom WITH a hyper child and at this point in our relationship we can't afford the conflict this is causing already.
Annie Brooke is right. Your daughter could be angry inside and not know how to express it and at 5 certainly won't know how to deal with it, and this may be why she is acting out by being too rough with the kittens. I think counseling is an excellent idea.
Try it. When a child acts out with animals, you have to be concerned that she might hurt them, and if she does, you'll have to wonder if they are a substitute for other things in her life that she would like to be able to affect and cannot. I'd talk to a children's therapist.
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