How Do I Help My Child Who Is Having A Hard Time Eating?

[scuby502]

My 9-year old son is going through a very difficult time.  He is having a very hard time eating.  This is the second time this has happened to him.  The first time, a year and a half ago, lasted about 10 weeks.  He has anxiety and something (possibly a movie scene) triggered this eating difficulty.  He can only eat certain foods that he feels comfortable with, like ice cream, yogurt, pudding, cheese, and chocolate- mostly because they aren't solid and can melt in his mouth.  If he eats something else, he chews and chews until it becomes liquid, and then sometimes he still can't swallow it.  He has been seeing a psychologist since going through this last year.  We are currently on week 7 of his second episode.  He has been through every test- barium swallow, allergy, gi, endoscopy, etc. and all is fine medically.   He also brings the food to his front teeth and tries to chew it there.  It can't be good for his teeth!  Nothing he is eating has any health value.  He is losing weight and is extremely active, playing multiple sports.  It is so frustrating for him, his brother, and my husband and me.  There is a lot of fighting and disagreeing behind the scenes but we try to be on the same page in front of him.  But sometimes it is hard and we find ourselves so frustrated that we seem like we are yelling at him.
We will try a speech therapist again (one slightly helped him last year) thanks to the information I was reading on one of these pages.  Any other help/suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!!

[specialmom]

I have a son with spd but you know what stands out to me?  All of his WILL eat items are junk or dairy.  :>)  That's not sensory.  Sensory eating issues are also not such that they come and go or are triggered. They are always present and you notice them when they are little and they continue.    We went to an eating specialist who is an occupational therapist due to a long term issue with eating (that continues to this day).  Issues are textures and chewing difficulties and something else called gag memory.  My son has had trouble chewing (due to sensory and motor planning) and has choked on various food items.  For years, if he would then be presented with that item to eat (often something like cut up chicken or pork chop), it would go in his mouth and he would gag.  Gag memory because he has choked on that type of thing before.  It was psychological.  We overcame this by pushing through it rather than not making him eat the meat.  Now the texture issues?  Those are there and seem to be permanent.  

Has your son gagged or choked on food prior to this episode of not eating solids?

I'd take away the junk choices he is having and see if he makes more of an effort to move past this. Yogurt and cheese aren't junk food but I'd remove them for a bit.  Offer him other things.  And pay less attention to what he does and doesn't eat. (attention that he notices, feel free to monitor and keep track of yourself as a mom would do!)

By the way, when my son began making the most effort for his eating is when he himself got competitive about his sports.  You aren't going to do well in your soccer game or basketball game if you haven't eaten right.  That's a fact.  And when my son was at the point where he wanted to really perform in his sports, HE began trying to add things to his diet.  He found, to my astonishment, that he can eat all sorts of nuts and he makes himself a bag of pregame mixed nuts now along with a banana.  He hydrates a day leading up to an event he wants to be at his best athletically for and he takes ownership.  Whew, that is so much better than when he was uncooperative.  So, your son is 9 and you can begin having those conversations.  My sons are a bit older but not that much.  And both are aware of sports nutrition and wanting to eat healthy in general.  also, ask a coach of his to give the team a general talk about eating.  He can say, I want you to eat something like X, Z, and B at this time before practice or the game.  That third party endorsement of what they should do really helps with my boys.  

By the way, you mention anxiety.  Would a counselor help him do you think?  How does he verbalize what is going on and what the problem is?

And don't forget about the go to parenting method of rewarding for doing what you desire them to do.  :>)  Pudding when you eat X!  Eat Y and you can do (insert whatever motivates him).  

Hopefully this blows over soon!  Keep in touch and let us know!

[scuby502]

This is extremely helpful and thank you so much!
I love the idea of getting his coaches involved and having them tell the team what they should and should not eat.  I think I agree that the third party will go a long way.
My son has not gagged or choked on anything.  He doesn't feel like he is going to choke which is what we originally thought was stopping him from swallowing.  I agree with you that since he is eating junk and dairy, it is not sensory.  But I did mention this to his therapist (he sees someone once a week), and he agrees with you too.  He is kind of thinking that my son should see a psychiatrist to see if he has some sort of chemical imbalance.  My son does verbalize what is going on, but he really doesn't understand it so his response to most questions is "I don't know".
I really appreciate your insight and I will let you know how this all pans out.  Thanks again :)

[RockRose]

In the short term,  while you get this figured out,  there are certainly nutritious foods he can have that are liquid.  Ensure,  vegetable/fruit smoothies,  anything liquified into a smooth texture.  Mashed potatoes and gravy.  

[scuby502]

Thanks so much.  He drinks Ensure a couple of times a day and he has an easier time with mashed potatoes also.  I am going to attempt vegetable/fruit smoothies this week!  Thanks again :)

[Sandman2]

I know that kids with SPD (sensory processing disorder) can have this problem.  Is he sensitive to any thing else like loud noises, textures, bright lights, smells... the list really goes on and on.  Basically, is there any thing else that really seems to bother him?

[scuby502]

He is definitely sensitive to loud noises, but really because he is scared of the unknown.  He's always asking- "what was that noise?" and truthfully I don't even hear it half the time!  Nothing else really bothers him.  The anxiety from whatever incident started this just manifests itself into struggles eating.  It is all in his head and he knows it, but he still can't seem to swallow solids easily, if at all.  Before 7 weeks ago, this was not a problem at all.  He ate everything without an issue.  Thanks so much for the suggestion- I never thought about it possibly being SPD.  Appreciate the insight.