Please Help.

[Nadine08]

Sorry for how  long it is... My daughter will be four In March. I have always had problems with her behavior because she is so defiant I could never find any type of discipline that would work for us. The past year things have escalated to such an extreme that I had to drop out of college. Her behavior effects every aspect of my life now. My dropping out of school was a result of her extreme separation anxiety. I started failing classes due to missing so much school. She would start her crying and yelling the night before if she new she had day care the next day. In the morning I could not get her dressed let alone out the front door. She is very very violent and is CONSTANTLY screaming for no reason at all. We could be watching a movie on the couch and she will just randomly have bursts of screams. This goes on all day long. Seems like she is more angry than happy anymore. Any type of discipline such as time out just escalates her behavior to the point where I end up in tears because I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do. She pulls chunks of her hair out, pinches and hits herself and other people. She does not play with any of her toys. Sh would rather play with random pieces of junk that she finds around the house ( ie: a receipt) If you give her crayons and a coloring book she will eat the crayons and the paper or color on the table. Which is odd because she is sooo smart.  She thinks that she is entitled to a tremendous amount of independence. (touching the stove and microwave) She will hoard lighters if I leave them anywhere she can get them (my coat pocket, not just out in the open..) She will tell me that she wants to kill me or that she can hurt me. She does not sleep at night and her mood changes at the drop of a hat. She also spits and snots everywhere when she is mad. Her behavior is out of control. We recently went to the pediatrician and she was prescribed Gabapentin once a day as a trial. Its used to treat bipolar. Does anyone have a young child with bipolar that can offer me advise and does anyone know how long it takes for this medicine to get into your system? Any advise would be greatly appreciated! I'm tired of feeling like a failure because there isn't anything I Can do to help her at this point. Thanks in advance.

[Nadine08]

I don't know that she did it purposely But I do that she didnt come to me right away because I found bloody finger prints on her stuff. After I tried to put a bandage on it she would not let me and would stop squeezing it to make it purposely bleed. But to answer you question nothing major except for some minor depression runs in either families.  

[RockRose]

It sounds like you could really use some help here.  So often I get the impression that the mom isn't trying,  or doesn't have a strong enough personality to lead children to good behavior - but I'm really sensing that's not the case with you.  

She sounds very,  very bright but manipulative in a way that  I've never seen in a 3 year old.  Kids that age very rarely self-harm - unless it's banging their heads - but purposely cutting themselves is very unusual.

Is there any of this kind of behavior in your family or her father's?  

[Nadine08]

i'm not really sure how to go about getting any further help. She is definitely not the typical child. For example the other day I had her in her room for a time out. Thinking there was nothing in there she could harm herself on or get into, but she came down stairs with a cut on her finger that was bleeding. She had climbed her dresser and tooken apart a picture frame and cut herself on it. She was only alone for about 4 or five minutes. Today She was in there for time out also. i was shutting her curtains ab it ago and realized that her window was completed open, screen and all. now I,m going to have to move her bed far away from the window and take all decorations from her room. On top of that no time outs in her room.

[RockRose]

Hmm. Well, I know there's been some recent discussion in the psychiatric community that some rage disorders in children can actually be seizures - and this drug is used to combat seizures.

But I'm not sensing she has a rage disorder - do you?  I've seen kids who suddenly fly off into unpredictable complete rages and are very sorry afterwards - and that looks like possible seizure activity to me.

Again,  I'm not a doctor,  just kind of thinking this through.

I'm really interested in children's behavior,  and she's got a clustering of symptoms that I don't think I've ever seen before.  Inappropriate eating of crayons,  inappropriate screaming,  self-harming,  etc.  

Can you get her tested beyond a pediatrician's visit?  

[Nadine08]

i did do a lot of research on it which is why i have been so skeptical about it. She has only been on it for about a week and a half. The doctor did not diagnose her with bipolar was just discussing the symptoms and possibilities with me and said that we were trying to stabilize her moods. Before this one she had suggested Prozac. This is a scary thought for my three and a half year old.

[RockRose]

Just doing a quick google search for Gabapentin,  I'm kind of surprised the doc expected that to treat her symptoms.  Have you researched this drug?  

If I were you I'd call the doctor and find out what symptoms he was hoping to treat.  Although I'm not a doctor,  I did find several references on the net that looked reliable (pharmaceutical) that said it's ineffective as a mood stabalizer or with bipolar symptoms.  

Best wishes.