allowing 11 year old son for a sleep over

[smiler77]

hello, i would like to ask about the above question,cuz im more or less in a delimah as to let my 11 year old son for a friends birthday sleepover or not,its a rule in our house that no body is coming or going for a sleepover and they've listened to it sooooo far,i have a 10yr old daughter aswell, she'll insist too, but this son of mine is insisting like anything, he's  the eldest of 4 kids,sensible and a decent 11 year old, but cant make up my heart rather then mind

[Disneymom13]

You should allow them I wouldn't let my 13 yr old  sleepover anywhere until she was 9. But you should meet the family before the kid comes over or your kids go there. And you should exchange numbers so they can call if anything happens.

[margypops]

I also think before chidren go on sleep overs that you are happy and know the family ... I sometimes think sleep overs are overdone and children get too used to having friends over and going to their house overnight., there should be an age I wouldnt send a young child on one 11 year old seems good .

[PAMomOf2]

He's plenty old enough. Be sure you know the family, have been to the house and are comfortable with the family. If there is nothing objectional about the family, you are being overprotective and need to work on letting go.

[smiler77]

thank u very much for such a soothing advvice, it was exactly what i've done earlier, setting him a target till the sleepover day,he  has to act more resposibly, do extra work sheets of maths etc, and that this sleepover is 1st and last. and he's agreed , i love him

and for my daughter i've gota speech ready saying girls are delicate, needs contant supervision... more blah blah
yes could be tat i can't imagine a bunch of boys or girls hanging around my home while i have 11 year old son  or 10  and 6 year old daughters around

[AnnieBrooke]

I think it is permissible for a parent to have one set of privileges for one child and a different set of privileges for another child.  The 10-year-old doesn't get to insist she has any right to do what her older brother does, when it comes down to it.  If you tell your son he has earned the privilege to go, because he has [name some good thing about him] and is a responsible kid, but that the privilege can also be revoked if you hear one thing about the event that makes you uncomfortable, that should cover it, especially if you say this little speech to him in front of his sister.  She won't be jonesing to get to do it too if she can see that her brother was treated as an individual and Mom and Dad had their reasons for allowing it.  

Now, if your problem is that you don't want to get roped into hosting sleepovers (in other words, feeling obliged to reciprocate), getting out of that is your outlook.  lol