My 4 year old son struggling with thoughts.

[Bakingmom]

Hi, I have a four year old son and when ever he gets angry he comes over to me quietly and says something like this" "By accident I said, I want to punch you or you are fat by accident." When I don't respond he comes back to me and says "Did you hear it?" I don't know if this behavior is normal or not. How do I respond to it?

[babygirl6152]

Actually he is probably murmuring it- and the seeds of a conscience may be what is then telling him to admit it? maybe?

this is the part that bothers me a tiny bit- I have worked with little ones and the phrase - "it was an accident" usually means they just wish they hadn't said it- and I think that is what you want to get across to this little guy- he has this inner voice chewing his mom out (quietly) after she has possibly reprimanded him- we all have these little voices- there are times as an adult I want to scream at a co-worker who is being catty to me but of course I don't....

IMHO
work on the anger/explain these are thoughts- he can have them as long as he doesn't act on them. Or maybe even role play thru some acceptable ways to tell you he is sad or upset without wanting to punch you.

explain that if he says it aloud it is not accidental although he may be sorry he said them. Maybe his seeds of a little conscience are so good he thinks he even has to share with you his thoughts if they were unkind (unlike Bill Clinton- not really being sorry so much as just sorry he was caught LOL).....

Really sounds like a sweet kid- just get him straight on what is acceptable to say aloud. Thoughts are thoughts- acting on them is quite different.

hugs mom

[91004]

Do you hear him say these things. I would ignore it. Or tell him one time well you shouldnt say those things it hurts my feelings.