My husband and teenage children don't get along

[InTheMiddle]

My husband and me have been married for a year and a half. We have been together for 5 years and during our time together my children, ages 21,20,18,and 16 had lived with their father.They have since moved in with us. Now my world if falling apart. I am stuck in the middle of something terrible. Our home is not our home anymore. Our relationship is falling apart. He gets along fine with the 21 year old because he has a job and helps around the house, but the 18 year old and 16 years old are both girls and they hate him and he hates them. They are lazy, they don't help around the house until I get angry, they stay locked up in their room and there is so much tension I don't know what to do. The 18 year old is a new driver and has asked to use the car and he won't let her because he's worried she will wreck and then we are in no way financially secure enough to go out and buy another car. His 17 year old son can drive his car though. The 16 year old has told all the neighbors that she can't stand him. He won't pick her up from school even in 10 degree weather because he thinks she is so lazy. They don't even speak to each other. I am torn between them. If they talk too loud he complains.If they have friends over he complains. They are very lazy girls and keep there room a mess, don't wash there clothes until they are piled to the ceiling, but they constantly are asking for things and if I don't give them their way they stomp around the house and slam doors. Our relationship was wonderful before they came to live with us, now we barely speak unless it's arguing about them. I love my husband but no one seems to want to give a little and I am caught in the middle. I don't know what to do. I am going to loose my husband.

[Victoria01]

I agree with specialmom. Children, despite their age, need to come first. I would never stay in a home where I felt someone hated me, so you can't expect your children to do that either. You have only been married for a year and half, and they have been your children for over 20 years. While this may seem like a hard decision, it really isn't.

[specialmom]

Your loyalty is to your children.  It sounds like your children have had a tremendous amount of upheavel in their lives and that is sad for them.  This is NOT their fault.  To ask your children to live in a house in which a man is there that "hates" them as you say adamently  he does-------  is not fair to them.  Think about what you are teaching them about men.  They need to go back to their father for safe keeping.  good luck