Private Preschool 3 almost 4 years old

[Mama94509]

My son is 3.11 Years old.  I just started him in a private preschool through a community center.  N the middle of his 5th week (after I had just paid for another 5 weeks) they stated that they think my son should be tested for aspergers.  Ok so I looked up aspergers.  so he does fit some of the things.  I don't see hand flapping but he can't stay still for too long, he can look you in the eyes but has to be promted and when sternly told he will stare you down, to me he seems to like other kids until they tell him what to do.  Sometimes he makes weird faces but I have only really scene him do that after hanging out with other kids, its has been within the last maybe 3 months, not always, more like putting his jaw out, more so when he is concentrating.  He doesn't lake emphathy as far as I can tell if I am upset he asks me what is wrong and ask his lil brother too when he is crying.  He seems to read my facial expressions.  Yeah he does throw temper tantrums sometimes but for the most part I can talk him out of it.  Like on halloween for example he had a platic sword with his costume and another kid had grabbed while we where taking a break I noticed he had it and asked him to give it to my son and that boy had meltdown but my son had it and I took it from him to give back to the other boy and all I told my son was that we are still having fun lets make sure he has fun too and he was fine with it.  Now in this preschool he isnt doing as well as the other kids on friday one of the two ladies was almost laughing at me because I was saying maybe I will try a diet change.  All these kids have been in this preschool for awhile I kinda of believe they are asking too much.  I tried to explain we just moved and he has a 14 month old brother and I am not a project person so writing and cuting and alot of the things he is doing is for the first time.  Like for example potty training he didnt when I talked to his doc at 3 yr old appointment she said stop pushing and let it be.  He wanted to go to preschool and I told him he had to get out of diapers n a week later he was completely potty trained.  Now with them saying this I am going crazy and his behaviour seems to be even worse.  I am going to try and switch him to the younger kid class and when I get my insurance I am going to ask for a phycological assesment.  

[Mama94509]

Well I know it been a few days in turn I read all about aspergers.  My son doesn't have anything that he gets into so much that I can't get him into anything else, he likes everything.  And is learning what he doesn't like, lol!  Anyways I changed him to a preschool class that is susposed to teach things like playing together and their ciriculume is more what I see my child level is.  Since his first 2 hour class he seems happier and he is listening better and I am trying not to yell at him and get him to listen.  Today I am all stocked I told him to go take a nap and he did.  Thanks to you RockRose for reading and giving awnsers,  Its hard being a parent and I will love my son and I am going to try and get his behaviour in check by looking at what you guys have all talked about!  Ta ta and Thanks!

[RockRose]

I meant to add that if you believe his father has Asperger's,  that's something the Occupational Therapist would need to know also.    ADHD,  Asperger's and other differences are genetic.

[RockRose]

It's hard to get a real handle on what your son is like on an internet forum.  : (

He sounds like a lot of his problems might be inexperience.  I'm surprised the doctor said let the teachers show him how to write - a child that age should be spending a little  time every day with crayons,  pens,  markers and paper and scissors and glue.  You may be right - that a lot of his apparent inability is actually that he has no experience with these skills compared to the other children his age,   so what appears to be delayed ability is actually that all this is brand new to him.

It's also interesting that he's ambidextrous,  which is associated with learning differences.  

I hope you can get a complete assessment by an Occupational Therapist soon.  In our area that costs about $2500,  takes several hours,  and will be very helpful in pinpointing any disability he has.

[Mama94509]

I did but she kinda says I have worked with children with aspergers before and he seems to act like that.  She says that when she asks him to do something sometimes he repeats what she said and just doen't follow direction like the other kids.  She also says he gets upset when the other kids come to play with him.  Well I don't socialize him very much but he seems to do alright with my friends son who is older.  In fact whenever I have had him around other kids he usually talks about them for awhile after we are not around.  He never talked about any of the kids on preschool.  He says he likes it but doens't talk about it.  Which to me is weird for him.  They have never called me to come and get him and I have never scene him have a tantrum where he was breaking or hitting to a uncontrollable point.  Not to say my kid isn't a handfull he is.  He is very head strong and usually to get him into doing something he doesn't want to do I have to give him a good reason.  He plays with his toys but I have never sat down and showed him how to play with his toys, but know I am.  I am just going crazy and I am scared.  When I talked to my doctor at his 3 year old appointment about his behaviour she said that I should take a parenting class.  I didn't now I really wish I did.  She said to stop pushing him in things and his behavior started getting alot better.  Now fast forward to letting him hang out with my cousins kids who do break his toys(why I think he has a problem in preschool with that at least) and one of the boy may have something up maybe not.  I don't just dont know when he hangs out with my other friends son he wants to play with him and doesn't get mad.  I am at my wits in when I get our ins up and working again I am going to ask the doc for a phycologist I mean I havent been that good of a parent.  In the first year of his life we moved I changed jobs got layed off my mom passed away and if there was ever an adult that would have high functioning aspergers it would be my husband we don't get along that well and my son has scene more then I wished he ever had.  I was trying to explain this to them but maybe they thought I was looking for pitty which I am not just want to explain my kids situation.  My friends who have kids are around my son and thinks he is great but yeah defnately a handful but as normal as theirs boys where at that age.  I just don't get it is it not normal for a kid who has never had scissors know exactly how to use them the first time he picks them up.  Do they realize my kid is left handed or ampidextrus.  I told my doc that I don't write and stuff with him and she said to let the teachers show him.  Now I just feel like I missed out on some huge thing in y childs life I mean yeah I am streassed but I love my kids and want the best for them.  I don't want my child labeled if I can help it but they way they acted without giving alot of reasoning is like oh you think that your childs behaviour is normal.  I just feel horrible.

[RockRose]

Mama,  can you ask the teacher specifically what behaviors she is seeing in your son that makes her think he has Aspergers Syndrome?