Does my child have a medical condition?

[ESDA]

My daughyer is 3 years old (4 years old in a month)
Roughly around the age of 1 did I noticed her attention seeking she would talk over me if I was speaking to someone else, she would start to deleberatly make a mess with anything she could just so I would notice. Then when she was coming up to 2 years the biting started and the hitting ( just me ) I did manage to stop her from biting with a time out she had a minite for each year of her age. That took a while but finally she got it and didn't do the biting or hitting from 2 years to three but the attention seeking still continues. The things she does now
. Talks constantly about anything even if it doesn't make sense. She never stops talking all day so fast and so loud.
. She doesn't follow instructions well she has to be told no lots of times
. Time outs now result in her throwing anything at me to hurt me (lamps, books, anything she has in her bedroom)
. She doesn't sit still she has to be moving even if I insist she sits down she is swinging legs.
.deleberatly makes a mess of anything.
.smirks when I am telling her she has done something wrong
.She ruins all.of the things she has - books, pencils just anything is eventually broken in and out of a temper tantrum.
I have followed all of the time out guide lines, tried sticker charts rewarding good behaviour
I make her clean when she has made a mess but nothing seems to work.
When she gets to time out her violence is terrible I feel each year progressed is more behaviour problems gained!
There is me and my partner who she lives with - she is now in school part time. Her teachers have said she is very chatty and overly energetic and does not like been told no. They have never seen her violent temper. I have booked an appointmentwith the gp and health visitor. I just need advice!  

[Sandman2]

Oh boy, it sounds like you have a little whirlwind on your hands.  I feel for you because a toddler is in many ways more difficult to work with then say a 6 year old.  If she was older you could just let her run around outside and burn off that energy, but thats a bit harder at her age.  

However, physical activity for little whirlwinds is very important.  Don't make her stop moving!   She needs to move and the more she moves, the better she will be later on.  Anything you can do to get her active after school will help!

And yes, there is a decent chance that she might have something like ADHD.  I am not sure that the people who you have booked appointments with can diagnose that, but hopefully they can refer you to someone who can.

So what can you do.  As you found out with the biting, timeouts if followed through can help.   But, she is doesn't sound like the typical gal that responds immediately to timeouts.  In fact, research shows that it takes about 3 weeks of very consistent behavioral modification (of which timeouts are) to get a change.  There are two really good books for parents that might help you.  They are..."SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark  and  "One, Two, Three, Magic" by Dr. Phelan.   The SOS book focuses on really effective ways to use timeouts and might be your first choice.

This link might also be helpful (as well as others by the same group)   https://childmind.org/article/how-discipline-toddlers/

Finally, there are there are books aimed at the 4 to 7 year old crowd that are meant to be read aloud (many times) to them and then practiced.  A good example is "Cool down and work through Anger"  Which can be found here...https://www.amazon.com/Cool-Through-Anger-Learning-Along%C2%AE/dp/1575423464/ref=pd_sim_14_1?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1575423464&pd_rd_r=73N8M9HNCA27XTW48JYV&pd_rd_w=oKQ3h&pd_rd_wg=QIDI6&psc=1&refRID=73N8M9HNCA27XTW48JYV

And on this link, you will find other books aimed at this age group.   The books are really good and can make a difference.

Finally, here is a link to a post that Specialmom and I did back in 2013 that has a lot of info that might help.  We come in at the end of the discussion, so scroll down to the bottom part.   https://www.medhelp.org/posts/Child-Behavior/my-4-year-old-is-out-of-control-what-do-i-do/show/2023048

I hope this helps.  Keep in touch!!