Honey, I am so sorry your mother has abandoned you and keeps doing it - I am sure that is why you are sad and keep crying - it is a terrible rejection and you have every right to feel sad and angry.. And you are right, not many people will understand just how much it ***** for you. What's probably wrong is that your self-esteem has taken quite a beating due to your mother's abandonment - this is not your fault, all you can do, is tell yourself that these are the cards that you have been dealt and that it is now up to you to play those cards as artfully as you can. Please don't let your mother's neglect ruin all the great things that life has to offer.. In a few years you will be grown and you can go out into the world and become anything you want to be. Use this pain to make you a stronger person.. Find something that you love to do (a sport, a musical instrument, learning something) and throw your heart and soul into it..
Please keep posting if you are feeling sad.. There are people here who care and will listen..
I'm sorry you are going through this.. I am a mother sending you a virtual hug..xoxo
While thinking that you must be sad is a given, I believe you are just trying to figure out the whys of what happened. Although you do not state the reasons for so many abandonments, and without any info on whether there is a history of substance abuse, etc. with your parents this is a hard thing to give advise on. I believe that your crying and confusion are normal and that you are not crazy. I would be having issues as well. It must be terribly difficult to have to try to deal with these things. Having said that, I would find someone to talk your feelings, fears, etc. out with. If there is a doctor, impartial friend or someone you could see, it would go a long way toward starting the healing process. You are young and have a long life ahead. Seek help where you can. If your doctor cannot help you personally, he/she will be able to point you in the right direction. I feel for you because you have had a tough go but it doesn't have to be the crutch that holds you down from living the best life you can.
Take care of yourself.