my 3 year old girl is not mingle wit others..

[gayathiritamil]

My 3 year old girl started her prescholl from 3 months before...she is not speaking with her classmates and teacher in her school , not playing with them , if they all playing out of the class means she doesnt go out..she simply sitting in her bench silently..im very worried of her behaviour , pls help me to what to do to make her play & enjoy her school..

[specialmom]

I agree that the school can be very helpful in these situations.  I'm also wondering if you can volunteer and be friendly to the other kids and teachers WITH her.  That might help her get more comfortable.  I also found modeling helps.  How social are you?  Will you chit chat with someone at the grocery store when in line or have friends over or strike up conversation with other adults and kids?  It helps to have people over and do these things.  Sometimes I've stepped out of my own comfort zone in order to help my children see that doing so can lead to positive things.  good luck!

[MarkLakewood3367]

Does the preschool teacher engage the class in conversation, social interaction, or group game activities?  Is the teacher concerned about her behavior and general lack of socializing?  It sounds as if you daughter simply requires more time to adjust to the preschool environment, even though it has been 3 months.  But it also sounds like to me that the school could probably do a little more to get her to feel comfortable and to interact with others.

[specialmom]

Hi, yes.  My son is able to have good friends, acquaintances, be on sports teams with strangers, work with teachers and coaches, etc.  

With the history you describe, would it help to expose her slowly with you there to more people?  Yes, try the park or other places lots of kids go.  And definitely, choose a child from school to have over to your house to play with.

hope it gets better soon!  peace

[gayathiritamil]

Sir..
    From the birth itself she wont be with anyone even my mom..if she took her means with in minute she started crying so she bring her back.. now she mingle with some well known persons , like her grand ma , grand pa , aunt uncle.. also she plays with some kids near by our home , she ll play with only some selected children not with all she met.. but in school she wont talk to anyone either teacher or her classmates..

[gayathiritamil]

thank u for the idea..i also thought to bring her to a park daily..the park is little far from our house so we wont go often..but here after i ll.. thank u once again.. now ur son mingle with all ?

[jemma116]

I am surprised that the teach allows her to sit on her own and not encourage her to go out to play when the other children go out.

If your daughter is fine at home, speaking, eye contact, having fun, then it is likely that she is very shy and does need coaxing to interact with other children.  Have you discussed this with her teacher and how you can get your daughter to mix, like specialmom mentioned.

Perhaps it will help her to interact with others if she sees you speaking with other parents when the children are collected from school.  

Best wishes.

[specialmom]

One thing the teacher did with my son in preschool that helped was to pair him up with another boy one on one to play.  She'd have them sit across from one another and directed them to roll a ball back and forth.  It was a start!  Teachers can help a bit with comfort in school with this type of 'coaching'  And you do the same outside of school.  Hopefully she will start connecting with the other kids.  good luck

[MarkLakewood3367]

Is this behavior due to shyness or a lack of socialization skills?  Does she behave this way in all environments or just in preschool?  Did this behavior just begin?  Have you asked her about this behavior?  If so, what did she say?  What does her teacher say about this behavior?

I need a little more info to be able to help you.

[specialmom]

Hi there and welcome.  Oh, I'm sorry.  I was exactly in your shoes when my son was in preschool.  The teachers would tell me things and I would be surprised to hear it because he wasn't that way at home.  So, I would go to school to volunteer and observe.  Oh, how it broke my heart to see my son not interacting and all alone.  It DOES hurt us as mothers.  

Now, my son had a few things going on that were more noticeable at school such as avoiding various activities (usually involving fine motor), wandering the room, he tripped frequently, had some articulation issues with speech, etc.  He was diagnosed at 4 with Sensory Integration disorder.  We began occupational therapy and am happy to report that age 10, my son is doing really fantastic.   So, that is our story.

But one thing that is true about kids is that social skills do not come naturally to every child.  For some, you have to help them and teach them.  My son, for example, didn't know how to approach other kids to play with them.  We taught him what to say as he approached kids he wanted to play with, how to handle it if they said yes and if they said no and worked on his overall play skills.  Really helped.  

Some kids are also very timid and if this is her first experience at school and away from home/you, this may be overwhelming to her.  

Another thing I did that helps with both of the situations above is to plan play dates at my house or the park in which I planned on being closely involved in the play date.  At 3, kiddos love a mom running along with them and playing too.  I have a son a year younger than my son that had some struggles so he and I would join my son and his friend in play.  It helped guide my son to proper ways to interact.  as he got older, I backed off and let him play but was nearby to intervene if need be and after the play date, we'd talk about what went well and what didn't.  Making those connections outside of school helped with the comfort level for my son in school.

Does she interact with neighborhood kids or kids at the park when you are there??