4 Year Son Sexual Behaviour with Cousin

[runningmommy]

This past weekend we were visiting relatives and my son who just turned 4 last week wanted his almost 4 year old cousin (boy) to sit on his "johnson." The cousin did it a few times and then my son wanted him to keep doing it again and again. He was very excited and had a funny look on his face. He wanted him to do it because it felt good. He also asked his cousin if he wanted to see my son's "johnson". My son has never exhibited this type of behavior before with other children. He has only played with himself at home when in the tub and I've considered it very normal. My concern and question(s) is - is this normal, how do you handle it and should I be concerned that he will do this at preschool with his friends. The boys were playing very hard all day and started to talk about their pee-pees.
Thank you!

[Brooke050870]

You are very welcome!  :)

[runningmommy]

Thanks for your comment. It does help! And yes, his preschool is great and they have supervision. And most likely, this type of situation would not arise but my mind started to think about if it did. Thanks again!

[Brooke050870]

I think it is best to speak to your son frankly about it, and whatever you do, don't yell at him or shame him.  I don't know if this helps, but when my son was about 3 or 4, a couple of times I noticed him touching himself while he sat on the couch watching tv.  I calmly told him that I knew it felt good do to that, but that it was something he should do privately, not at school and not in front of anybody.  I also told him that he is never to touch anyone else in the areas that their underwear or a bathing suit would cover, and that nobody is to touch him down there either, period.  I didn't get mad at him or yell and scream, which is the exact opposite of what was done in my house when I was about 4 or 5.  My mother and step father handled it badly and told me I did something really horrible and dirty, and I was left feeling completely dirty, humiliated, ashamed and like I couldn't face anyone.  To this day I look back on what happened to me, and I cringe.  I think if you could find a way to gently tell your son that it is fine if he wants to touch himself in private, like in the bathtub for example, but that he is not to touch anyone else that way and they are not to touch him either, period.  I would hope that in preschool, there would not be the opportunity for a situation to arise like the one you described above with your son and his cousin.  At the preschool my son attended, there was a lot of supervision, many small groups and many teachers.  I recall that they also did not have doors on the bathroom stalls, in order to minimize anything inappropriate happening behind a closed door.  I hope this helps.  Just address the situation calmly, don't embarrass him and don't make too big of a deal out of it.