I have read many books, posts etc. We are consistant with time outs until quiet for five minutes. They will not stay in their room so we lock the door and we say one time, "Children who stay in their room do not have to have the door locked. When you choose to be quiet for five minutes, you will come out." They bang on the door. Cry, scream, hysterical for 30 minutes+ until come down and are quiet. We are positive, play with them, are consistant. We have tried spanking and we do not like it and they did not change behavior so we are still in our consistant time out program. Problem is, have been doing this for over six months, no improvement. They call us stupid, time out, bother us during the night (bothering not considered basic needs help - water, comfort from sickness, nighmares etc....) and they do not listen. We are then in time out consistantly.....All the while we are positive and sincere in our praise and ask them questions like, "How do you feel when you behave, are you happy with your fill in the blank behavior....great job making xxx specific good choice." Why is this not working? After six months of this and no improvement, we have slowly become this month traveling downward -getting frustrated, yelling, raising voice etc....thing we are trying very hard not to do.....I am tired....I am not a yelling person. I want a peaceful home. After reading all this, please help.....what are we doing wrong on are end.....what do we need to enforce more on theirs? We are not spoiling our children, we are consistant, we play and are positive and now are becomming out