death of parent

[katinka1950]

when & who should tell my 5yr. old grandson; his mother died when he was 5months old?

[stayathomemommyof2]

i agree w rockrose and i as well wonder where does he think hos mother is if there is a mother in the picture then rockrose's advice is good if there is no mother u need to talk to him asap he has to wonder why he dosent have a mom and this could really cause issues if it is not addressed quickly start slowly show him a picture or sit some around and wait for him to ask who is this then explain i feel personally this should have been done all along but wether a mother is present or not really determines how and when to address this issue

[RockRose]

Is there someone else he thinks is his mother?  i.e.,  his dad remarried when the child was so young he really didn't have a memory?

If that's the case,  I think his new mom and his dad should sit down and say they have a story to tell,  and show him pictures of her and tell how much she loved him and is in heaven waiting for him but right now he has a new mother who loves him very very much,  and loves his dad very very much,   and will always be there for him,  and (if they're religious) say that it was a great act of a loving God that they met and now they're a family.

[Jensjj]

Hi I am sorry for your loss. My advice is let him ask about her. Then you can explain it to him. Or you could show him a picture, and just talk about her. then let him ask the question. I hope this helps

[kay2486]

where does he think mummy is now? this is a very difficult thing to tell a child, personally i would tell him if he asks where she is and just say something like shes gone to heaven with the angels looking over you and you'll meet again one day, it is only up to you when you feel ready to tell him no one can tell you the answer, sorry for your loss

[allmymarbles]

Hasn't this ever been mentioned in his presence? It is usual for adults for forget that these little ones are present when they are talking. But if he knows nothing of it, then why has it been kept secret? And what does he think happened to her? Does he feel she left because she didn't want him? That is much worse than her dying.

If he really has no inkling, you might mention his mother's death casually in the course of conversations. Little by little, over time, he will ask questions and you will answer them. Through you he will know that his mother loved him.