kindergarten war zone

[frustrated mommy]

It seems that since Christmas my childs class has turned in to a 3 ring circus/warzone.  So far this year one child has thretened to have her head bashed, shot and to be puched in the eye.  She has been offered money to pull her pants down (she did not do it) a few days later another little girl did.  A child got angry in the class room and thew chairs and was kicking furiture.  Not to mention all the inaproperate stuff she has repeated from school (mostly incorrect english and slang words) and this is just the stuff that has happened to her.  Not to mention all the stories of of children being disruptive.  Surley this can not be normal kindergarden behavior, but the school does  not seem to think it is a big deal.  We are now concerned for her saftey as well as her education.  We do have the option to put her in a different school next year but is the evil we don't know worse than the evil we do?  We are in the military and are scheduled to rotate next year.  So do we keep her where she is (she seems to like it) as she his going to see enough change in her life or do we move her and get her used to the idea of a new school.  We were hoping that in 1st grade the children would not have as much play time and would be less likely to do these things but now we are not so sure.  

[margypops]

It does sound as if this is a school/control problem have you spoken to the principle,children should not be allowed to throw chairs,kick furniture or any of the other behaviors you describe, Maybe changing schools would be the best thing for your child ,have you spoken to other parents how do they react to this situation ?.  

[frustrated mommy]

I have spoken to the school every time and the response is that they do their best to teach every child the correct behavior for school.  There seems to be a lot of no no Johnny we don't do that and not any real consequence.

[babygirl6152]

My husband was raised in schools associated with the military- his father was in the Air Force. He tells me this was the scenario for children who misbehaved:

Child in trouble- call the parent
Child misbehaves again- Child's PARENT CO is called. The child will learn to behave so the parent doesn't get called into THEIR commanding officer. It was not tolerated to have a child constantly misbehave.

Now was the desk shoved or was the desk thrown across the room? Are you there or are these stories you get from your child? Are the teachers too lenient because they have no backing from their principal? Are the children that misbehave children of parents that "tend to overlook little misbehaviors"?/ dues to their having "political exemptions"/ I hate it too but that kind of stuff goes on- maybe Johnny's father has clout. In the long run- he is not helping his child though. We all know that.
Offer to go in for a day and see what really goes on.

[frustrated mommy]

We are in the Coast guard but the school is not military.  It was a chair that was thrown and we got the same story from 4 children in the class.  We have phone conference with the teacher on Thursday.  We have given up on trying to solve the schools discipline problem.  We are trying to decide if it is best to keep her in the school and deal as it is only one more year or move her to a different school.  What will be less traumatic for her.  

[Crystal857]

If I were you I would be very stern at the conference.  Do not take any wishy wash solutions.  Tell them that this just cannot continue and you want to know what is going to be done about this.  I would also pin-point the children causing the problems.  The parents of these children need to be notified as well.  You should not have to worry about your child's safety at school every day especially in kindergarden!!

[babygirl6152]

and sometimes the teachers are waiting for more parents to complain to get the principal/director to act or to at least have the principal back the teacher's discipline.

Tell the school this sort of has to be considered unacceptable and you will not tolerate your child being in an unsafe environment!

[Sandman2]

In all of these discussions, I see two important ideas.
   The first is from your child.  "(she seems to like it) "  With all the moving that you do - stability is really important.  If she likes it - then keep her there!
   Second (maybe more importantly) visit the school!!!!

and ya, the fact that you say, "Surley this can not be normal kindergarden behavior," makes me think that you ought to talk to other parents.  You would be amazed at how normal this stuff is.  By the way, how would you discipline a child in kindergarten without the parents filing a lawsuit against you?  You can't do what was done even 20 years ago.   One last thought.  Kids will throw chairs, etc.  No one can stop that.  The question is - are they still throwing chairs?

[frustrated mommy]

Yes my child seems to like it and stability is important that is why she gets it at home.  I also feel safey is far more important than stability at school.  I have visited I have voluteered in the class room and I have been there to talk about everything that has happen when it happened.  I have friends who have children in kindergarden at other schools in our area and they do not have these problems and in the rare event they do the schools takes care of it.  It is not as much what is going on it is what the school is NOT doing about it.  An d more importantly if people like you were not so accepting of children throwing chairs it would not be happening.  In all my life this is the first time I have heard of a child throwing a chair toys yes but not chairs.

[Sandman2]

    Who said I was accepting of kids throwing chairs?  "I said, "Kids will throw chairs, etc.  No one can stop that.  The question is - are they still throwing chairs? "  If they are still doing it, then something is very wrong.  That is why I said ," visit the school!!!!"  You have done so and so you know what is going on.  I think your next step is to visit the first grade classrooms.  It may be you have a very inexperienced K teacher and the first grade teachers will be entirely different - I sure hope so.