8 yr old's behavior - anxiety/loss of control

[lizzylee2000]

Last night my 8-year-old daughter and I were eating a hamburger in a restaurant.  She started to get angry when the "xtras" were falling out of her bun.  It quickly turned into a very frustrated girl who tensed up, closed her fists, started kicking the table, chair, yelling "I hate myself, I hate my life."  I tried to comfort her, but was unable.  She said she was hungry and wanted to eat, but couldn't.  Said she didn't know why she couldn't.  She was crying and very distraught but couldn't explain why.  I finally left, even though she said she didn't want to leave, took her over to her dad's house, which is what she wanted, and he was able to calm her down.  She reverted to speaking like a 3-year-old, ate and was fine in the end.  I've never seen this behavior in her.  I've seen her frustrated at times when things aren't going as she expects or desires and heard her say she hates herself before as well.  She's extremely hard on herself.  She's on a dance team this year for the first time, and her first competition is coming up this weekend.  I think she's feeling less than adequate and is very stressed about it.  She told her father that she doesn't want to come in last place.  I'm concerned and feel I should take her to see a child therapist, but don't know if I'm overreacting.  And if I should, I don't know how to find a good one.  Would you call her pediatrician and ask for a referral?  Any feedback is appreciated.

[lizzylee2000]

Thanks so much for your response.  And sorry for the delay in reading it and getting back to you.  Still getting used to this forum.  I really appreciate you taking the time to read my concerns and responding.

[jdtm]

Honestly, I think the problem is that your daughter does not want to compete in the dance competition and it scares her.  Not every child is competitive and I am wondering if she is fearful that she will let her team down.  Some children do better in team activities; others thrive in solitary activities as swimming or track and field, etc.

What would I do?  Support her and love her and next season if she does not want to dance, then don't sign her up for the "team" aspect.  All the best ...