please help

[chrisb49]

my son is 6yrs old and is an angel at home. however when ever he goes to school he is like the devil in carnate.
he spits in teachers faces, takes his cloths off hides under tables and point blank refuses not to do stuff  he throws him self on the floor and has to be picked up so as not to be hurt, he is constantly at the head masters office for bad behaviour and is now getting threatend with expulsion any ideas anyone, i think it is because the school are not able to disapline children anymore all they can do is say please dont do that and a kid looks up and thinks yes ill be good (not).

[Sandman2]

  I noticed you said the headmasters office.  Are you in England?
Specialmom has a lot of good points.  Many of his actions do sound SID related.  Obviously, if he does well and home and goes bonkers at school then something is wrong.   And I don't really think it is necessarily the discipline of the teachers - unless the whole class is throwing off their clothes and hiding under the desks.
   Have you ever visited the school to watch what is going on?  That would be an important starting point.  It would give you a feeling if it is a classroom in chaos  or not.   The next thing is to ask the school what can they do to help your son.  They do have procedures for this type of thing.  And I can tell you as a retired school administrator that expelling him is not gonna do much to help him or the school deal with him (except to maybe get your attention).  
     Anyway, ask the school what their suggestions are for working with him at home.  If they don't have any - then guess where the problem lies.  But the important part is - really try and work with the school to solve this.

[specialmom]

Oh, and at our school, they have a protocol for routine offenders.  No corporal punishment these days but they do lose various privilages and face consequences for poor behavior.  I'm a big believer though at finding out what is behind the behavior.  Most kids don't love being in trouble at the age of 6.  good luck!!

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Ya know, my son was very different at home than he was at school.  It was as if his system got completely overwhelmed when he went to school and he was easily frustrated, couldn't remember the rules, had difficulty with the other kids and resisted various activities.  

Well, in fact, that is exactly what was happening.  He has sensory integration disorder.  Don't let the word 'disorder' scare you as we've had tremendous luck working on my son's sensory challenges to the point that he functions very well in a classroom.  We began occupational therapy which really helped with giving his sensory system what it needed to stay regulated in overwhelming environments and in general, tools for being able to cope and function in a classroom setting, and social skills that he could use with other kids and teaches (things like raising hands at school, keeping personal space from students, etc).  

We also worked on fine motor skills such as handwriting.

This is a huge trigger for many kids that are your son's age.  So much is expected these days at these tender young years and many kids have trouble with some of the basics such as letter formation.  Some extra help can make all the difference in the world if a child has even a slight issue with those things.  

Now, many kids that are your son's age just have difficulty transitioning into the classroom setting where more and more is expected of them.  It can be perfectly within normal to struggle a bit.  But sometimes a bit more is going on and it is always helpful to figure out what is at the root of it all.

I bring up sensory because my son had some of the same behaviors as yours and by working on his sensory issues, we made things so much better for him.  

Even if your son doesn't have sensory, perhaps some of the classroom strategies would be helpful.  Let me know if you are interested.  

Lots of luck!

[margypops]

Ther must be a reason why ..how can they allow a child of 6 to behave like that , I think you are correct and the teachers have lost control, is he the only child who does this ?