my 4 year old is out of control

[jessiemayfelt]

my 4 year old is too out of control and i am not sure what to do anymore, time outs, taking toys and going to his room arent workign anymore.  not only that he now says he hates me, calls me the B word and says he is going to kill me.  he even has ways he says to kill me, ex..chop off my head, stab me and so forth.  I have a 11 month old and i am so worried he will end up hurting him so i want to take care of this as soon as i can.  not to mention how emotional it is for me, it has gotten so bad i usually dont make it through the day without crying.  i just dont know what to do anymore.  please help.

[Ravare]

Yea, lock down on him and dont let him talk to you like that. Whether that means punishment or talking it out is up to you. Also limit whatever TV and toys he has that relate to violence.

Since the child is 4-years old, they dont naturally know about chopping heads off and stabbing people and calling women the B word. It is either learned behavior from other kids at daycare or he is getting it from watching tv/cartoons/violent toys.

I am not big on blaming tv and video games for violence, but when the child is young like 4 years old, they have to learn it from somewhere.

[Encephalomalcia]

You need to be in control.  Now your 4-year-old is in control.  Children do not want to be in control over the adult; they want the adult their parent to be in control.  First of all, tell him that it is not nice to be saying those things to you.  Does he have chores to do around the house?  He should.  Chores make a child feel that they are contributing to the household and family.  It makes them feel good.