So Confused

[fedupmommy911]

I am a mother of three boys, I have pretty much parented the same way with all three of them, the problem is with my youngest child he is eight years old and since HeadStart he has been throwing these  awful temper tantrums @ school. When he gets in trouble( usally for something minor) he turns into a diffrent child screaming, yelling things like I hate school, I hate and am going to kill my self,  this is a weekly thing, he will kick things fall on the floor the whole shabang I may have to pick him up at least 3 to 4 times a month. It is so weird because he has NEVER has these tantrums @ home and If I were not on the phone hearing him act like this I wouldn't believe it. I have taken him to a Pediatric Conselor who told me that from what I was telling her he has problems with controlling his anger, but when spending time with him she never seen it. She suggested some techniques or exercies to help him when he feels he is having a meltdown and that was IT! His pediatrician says that it just sounds like a temper tantrum and he may grow out of it. My question is when he is in the 3rd grade, and every school year for us is the same. My husband and I are so confused. Please help

[fedupmommy911]

Huh!? Sounds like a great Idea. I have spoken to the principal at the school and I totally agree with you. They have no clue of what they are doing! I know this because they call me for everything. What is it that your grandson has?

[teko]

The teasing needs to be handled by the teacher and addressed as well. If that kind of thing is not handled early on in the school year it can prove for major problems all thru his schoolyears for him. The adults in charge r not doing their jobs. It sounds like he is so angry and frustrated he doesnt know where to turn. On the other hand, at 8 years old he should not be exhibiting these kind of meltdowns either, again a sign that the person in charge does not no how to handle the situation. If he is not doing this at home, it points to being a problem in the classroom and doesnt necessarily point to it being him as the one with the problem. When this happens what is the teacher doing to handle the problem? I have a grandson with aspergers who tends to be very aggressive. We do a green light, yellow light, red light with him. We let him know when he is in yellow and it gives him a chance to think about what he is doing, red light means meltdown in progress and discipline coming. lol  This came from his teacher at school and works pretty well for us so far. lol   so far!

[fedupmommy911]

Thanks, I know you aren't laughing at me lol! You are right they will never give me a direct answer. What is really funny is that on today I spoke to the school's social worker and I think that I have pinned pointed why, He is being teased at school and has no one to run to because he is labeled as the " Problem Child" so in turn he acts out.

[teko]

LOL, Sorry, Im not laughing at you, but I think you knew he had anger issues before you took him to the counselor? They get paid big bucks to come up with that logic! lol I think it is obvious he has an anger issue and cannot control it. I would think about what he is getting out of doing this? What seems to bring it on? Or is he just frustrated and does not have the tools it takes to vent in more appropriate ways? Behavioral therepy might be a good idea, where they can evaluate him (they tend to push their buttons for a desired response), so they can see and at least they can give you some ideas of how to break the behavior and if it is something more, they can refer you to the right people for the right help.