my son has no bedroom

[gillian236]

I have a thirteen year old son, a nine year old son and i have divorced and remarried to another man 5 years ago who also has a son who comes to our house at weekends. We bought a house whilst my eldest son was living with his dad but he moved in with me a couple of years later. He now has now not had a room for the past couple of years and stays in his step brothers in the weekdays and his brothers at the weekend and my youngest son will come in my room as my husband tends to sleep on the settee addicted to 360 games. my 13 year old son is always moaning that he wants a room and i dont no what to do and i cant just tell my husband that my son wants his sons room can i ???

[RockRose]

gilllian,  I kind of hoped you had reposted to say you had figured out a way to give your son a room,  or at least a permanent bed instead of kind of soft pedaling that your husband doesn't sleep with you so he can play his video game.

Did you work out the situation with your son?

[gillian236]

And by by the way when i say addicted to xbox games i dont mean addicted he just likes to go on them

[gillian236]

thanks

[RockRose]

He needs a room,  even if it's only a "half room" that he has all the time.  He must feel like he doesn't belong - being shuffled around depending on who's there.  Like kind of an unwelcome friend who occupies the couch or floor.

I have a friend who didn't have a room when she was a teen because grandma had come to live with them.  She's a really level headed woman,  but when she describes being "roomless" - she slept on the couch for 4 years - it hurts her to feel like she didn't belong.

We just put a wall in to make a room upstairs - divided the large gameroom in half.  It made a tiny little cubby bedroom,  but it has a window and the closet is an armoure.  Can you do something like that?  

If not,  I think he needs to be able to stay in one bed each night - whatever room it's in,  and whoever else has to share,  he needs a consistent space and bed.

Best wishes.

[SL345]

While you may not want to start the conversation with your son wanting his son's room,  it would be important to talk to him about the situation. Keep in mind that most of the world lives without indoor plumbing, so the fact that you're discussing individual bedrooms in the context of online postings of questions about XBox 360 should hopefully help keep things in perspective. Too much screening time (i.e., television watching, video game playing and computer time) is generally not good for the health of family relationships. Discussion about all these issues may help improve more than your son's sleeping arrangements. Hope that helps get you started. Good luck.