please help MAJOR

[2happykids]

My husband has bipolar and is on depokort 1000mg a day and effexor xr 75mg a day.half the time he forgets to take it and i have to put it in his mouth on my own.how childish,i am still learning on how to deal with all this,he takes his meds and still no change he has been on others such as lithium and that did not work.he comes home at night and any little noise from  the kids he goes crazy on them.if the dog barks he will slap the dog and knock him on the ground.i cant ask a simple ??? he will jump down my throat.when i talk to him on the phone during the day while he is at work he is fine and happy and sweet and loving but the minute he walks in the door me and the kids want to run away.a little over a year ago he tried killing me with my 6 year old present and now if we fight it terrofies her and me.if he is in a bad mood or acting weird i will sleep with a knife.my doctor has me on xanax 3 times a day for the past year because of severe post tramatic stress disorder from him trying to kill me.and i have to  take that so i am not scared of him but my kids have nothing to take.he is always yelling at them mainly my older son.he calls him aweful names and child should not hear and will not do anything with my kids like other fathers do.he will not go in the yard and play ball instead he will tell my son to go pick up limbs and stuff in the yard.dinner time is not pleasant my husband will go off on my kids about things they did during the day and ground them or punish them.and then we are not allowed to say a word at the dinner table.i thought dinner time was family time.now i have noticed my kids boy and girl 6 and 10 hit each other,yell and scream and fight each other.my husband has a look in his eyes when he is mad and it is very scary and when i get on to my son (10yrs)he yells at me and gets that look.my daughter (6yrs)is the same.it seems like learned behavior.i have done so much research on this and still dont know what to do and how to deal with all this and get my kids back to normal.they are going to grow up thinking treating people this way is ok.now his doctor has moved him down to seeing him once every 2 months instead of once a month..i dont know what to do.i want to leave but have no where to go and when he sees  the doctor the doctor tells him he has to do some of the work it is not all his meds and he is so sweet and nice for 1 day and then back to mean and hateful...please help!

[margypops]

I am so sorry you are going through this,please continue to come here as just talkingt about it is a relief for you, this behavior of your Husbands is going to affect the kids in the rest of their lives aswell, you should seek help for them aswell as yourself. They will behave the same way when they have Familys its learned behavior. Is he worse on this medication?sometimed Drugs can affect their mood a lot .Do you know how he behaves at work does he get on with other people okay,Perhaps you could keep the kids away from him , can they do things out side so there is no confrontation with him.How are the kids at school can they make friends there . He does need more councilling and if it doesnt work you have to think of the kids and Move off permanently as this situation may never get better.

[2happykids]

i tried calling his doctor and he is on vacation!! go figure..yes i have my parents but ifeel like such a failure and there is a lot of people out there with bipolar and there souses dont act like this.he is verbally mean! there is not a day that goes by that he doe snot yell at my kids and call them names.and they act just like him and that gets me upset and irate and i end up grounding them and being the bad mom.i know he does not tell his doctor everything because he is afraid the doctor will put him in the hospital and then i am afraid if i leave he will try and hurt himself.i dont know i am lost...when he tried killing me over a  year ago yes i did leave for a long time and we went to counseling and then he started seeing him dctor which diognosed him with severe bipolar.you know alot of times i think that is his excuse so he can act like that and say things and do things to get away with it because if you go to his work (he does work 2 jobs which is nice not to have to deal with him but his nights off are aweful and we dread them)but if you go to his work he is all smiling and happy and playing and joking around with his friends and everything and the minute he walks in the door he quits smiling and talking and goes and yells at every little sound.i think i am going to make sure he never knows when my kids act up so he does nt get on to them.he will call my son all kinds of names and so my son is quite and no friends and and everything and i think that is my husbands fault.i feel like i am starting to have his  temper and attitude....oh and if he finds out i tried calling his DR he will go off on me...

[margypops]

It is time to go, perhaps speak to a social worker or ask your Doc, if you go online and put Battered wives in and your area I think something may come up,You need help ,for your kids aswell as your self,The kids are acting out because they see all this and its scary, and it is learned Behavior, have you any other Family near who can help, the Children should not be subjected to this,seek help in your area and advice.

[suzi-q]

Get yourself and your children (and your dog, please) the hell out of there!  It seems to be more than just bipolar.  He is sick and it is so unhealthy for your children to be subject to this.  It is a form of child abuse.  Leopards do not change their spots, and he obviously didn't...he is an accident waiting to happen and you will be the target.  PLEASE GET OUT OF THERE AND GET THE POLICE INVOLVED ALSO!

[2happykids]

i honestly dont know.it is hard to leave he is the only finance me and the kids have and then i would have to leave the house and i dont have no where to go.my kids are starting to act like him and i cant control them and i dont know where to start.i am getting walked all over by my husband and my kids.i feel like a huge target with a big bullseye..

[isthiscp]

Are you really looking for someone to help you or is that you want someone to tell you what you need to hear? I hope that doesnt sound harsh(I dont mean to be) but it sounds like you have 2 wonderful chilren and you are not only subjecting yourself to this awful situation but also your 2 children. If someone tries to kill you(disorder and medication or not)its time to go