31 month old aggressive mean behavior towards 21/2 month old baby sister

[dcush]

How do we stop our 31 month old son from hitting and throwing things at his baby sister.  We have tried time outs but it does not seem to help.  He throws terrible tantrums and seems to get so angry and frustrated.  This is really hard when I am trying to breast feed the baby and then my son tries to throw things or hit her.  I am at my wits end and I really am having a hard time dealing with this without getting very angry with my son because he could really hurt her.  Could you please help and give my some advice on how to deal with this the proper way.

[dcush]

Thank you for your response.  I am more then willing to give anything a try.

[dcush]

Great idea.  I will give this a try.  Thanks so much.  I will let you know if this helps.  Again thank you! :)

[adgal]

I'm not in this situation, but I can remember another mom on here (her name is specialmom) talking about this issue, and she had what I thought were some neat ideas.

She had a basket of special toys that her older son only got to play with while she was nursing the baby.  She brought them out only for that time, and it made kind of an exciting time for her older son.  Then, while the baby was sleeping, she would say to the baby in a loud and exaggerated voice..."ok baby, I am going to play with your brother now. This is your brothers and mine special play time" or something close to that anyway.  She said it worked very well in curbing the jealousy and made her older child feel extra special.  I thought they were great ideas, and perhaps they may help you out as well?  Good luck to you, I can only imagine how challenging this must be.

[RockRose]

Can you set up something to do with him while you feed her?  Like,  something really fun like playdough or watching a favorite video on the couch together while you feed her?  

I know it's hard not to feel really angry at him,  I feel angry at him  just reading your post.  : (

Can you ask him,  let's think of lists of something fun for you to do while I feed her?  She needs to eat, and let's think of something fun for you while this is happening.  

Another thought is,  she eats breakfast,  lunch,  snack,  dinner right before him and right after that,  we'll all eat together.  If you hurt her or throw things at her while she's eating,  you're not getting lunch.  Sorry,  you just lost lunch.  Let's try again at snack time to see if you can let her eat.  (Obviously you can't let this go one for more than two meals).  

I feel for you. I didn't have kids who were so jealous,  but SO MANY parents do.  I hope it works out for you,  that you can bring them into a close loving bond in the future.