Child fearing to school

[DeepaSachdeva]

I am a mother of 5 yr old daughter.  She is in first standard and fears going to school.  Till the time we leave home she is normal but on the way to school she gets quiet and disturbed as if something is troubling her.  After reaching the school gate, when its time to say bye, she starts making faces and starts crying.  Her steps just don't go towards school.  She was the same when she was in KG & prepratory but i thought that she is just too young and things would get better with growing age but things are just not improving.
Also, she has a slow pick up and the pressure of studies is increasing.  If she lags behind she is uncomforted as if someone is going to scolde her for that.  Her teacher also mentioned that she is very sensitive and if she is not able to complete her work on time she starts crying in the class.
Generally, she is not a very social person also.  She is poor in making friends.  But i am really concerned about her.  Please help me advice how to deal with her.  I tried to open up with her but she says there is no one who scares her and there is nothing as such and then she changes the topic.

Please help.

Regards/Deepa

[Sandman2]

   Do ask her teacher how her age compares to others in the class.  If she is the youngest (or close to it), than that is probably what a lot of her problem is.  When I was a school principal, I definitely saw kids you were too young and just couldn't handle the situation.
   If her age is not a factor, then I would start talking more with the teacher to get her ideas of what is going on.  If she is experienced, she has now been working with your daughter long enough that she should be a valuable resource.  Good luck!

[DeepaSachdeva]

Hi,

Thanks for your advice.  Actually, I have been doing this.  I have been telling her how long were my working yours to school.  And whenever she feels the way she is feeling God will come to her help as he is always along with her and there is nothing to worry.  I also go to park with her in the evening to play.  We have a group of kids there and now they wait for us to come every day so she has a group but she is just not able to take it well as of now.  I am trying and may be take a few more days to make her understand better.

[DeepaSachdeva]

Hi,

Thanks for your advice.  Actually, I have been doing this.  I have been telling her how long were my working yours to school.  And whenever she feels the way she is feeling God will come to her help as he is always along with her and there is nothing to worry.  I also go to park with her in the evening to play.  We have a group of kids there and now they wait for us to come every day so she has a group but she is just not able to take it well as of now.  I am trying and may be take a few more days to make her understand better.

[benjimom]

Sounds like she has a LOT of anxiety and social anxiety too.  Sometimes it is hard for kids to learn to make new friends, etc.  Also , give her plenty of assurance that you will not scold her for making a mistake, etc.  

[specialmom]

I also think helping her with some of the social aspects would be helpful.  I'd talk to her teacher (and school counselor if there is one) about this and see what they can do to help.  Perhaps pairing her up with another girl during activities, starting some games during playground time including her, etc. would help her bond with some of the kids.  I'd also do your part.  Get some names of some of the parents and kids and start making some play dates.  You can be involved in the play date (kids are pretty old when they start wanting mom to disappear-----------  so your daughter and her peer would love to have you involved).  You can help guide her through.  Social skills come naturally to some kids and others need some help.  Having just one friend will make her more confortable.  I'd look for anything that she can be involved in at school too that is socially oriented.  Any girl's clubs (the US has girlscouts).  Always stay really positive yourself and talk it up like it is fun fun fun!  Tell her how much you loved school.  I wish you luck!

[Sandman2]

   I am not real sure of your grade levels.  If first standard is the same as our first grade in the USA, then she would be extremely young for that grade level.  Her response would be very typical to ones I have observed in my school when kids were too young for their grade level.   It may be that she is over her head due to her age and is beginning to realize that.
  Ask her teacher how she compares to the other kids in the class age wise.  If she is the youngest - have her repeat the grade.