My adult stepson can be so mean.

[donethisbefore]

My hubby and I have been together for 5 years and got married last year.  We have the best life and are very happy excect for one thing.  His only son says alful things about me.  At my stepson's wedding whick I was asked for helping put it together and we payed for most of it gladly...I made a statement that we were so happy for our kids getting married to a friend there.  This was almost a year ago and my stepson is still going on and on that I am not his mother.  He has gotten very mean about it.  I have never tried to be his mother...he has a wonderful mother.  He tells his dad that since we got married that his dad has changed and doesn't like who he is now.  No one has changed except for the stepson.  We are heart broken over this and now my stepson and his wife are going to have their first baby.  We weren't told about them having a baby and everyone else in the family had been told.  I wanted to give them a shower and was told that I wasn't by my stepson.  This hurts and I feel so bad for my hubby who loves his son very much.  My hubby has stood by me all the way and I love him for that.  If I had done any thing to makes my stepson feel this way I would change it.  But I can't change some thing I haven't done.  My stepson yelled at me last Sept. that you aren't my mother or the other kids mother (my hubby step children who we see all they time).  I asked him where did that come from and he wouldn't answer me.  I let him know that I never have tried to be your mother...you have a wonderful mother and I respect that. I have cried over this and wish that all could be differant.  Any suggestion????

[allmymarbles]

Is your stepson very young? He sounds like he is. Sit back and be patient. If people have been filling his ears with stories about you, he will eventually realize that he is someone's patsy. Wisdom is slow in coming. It has been my experience that children come full circle in their thirties.

[RockRose]

Is there any more to this story?  How does the ex-wife feel about you?  The other children?