update and q aboutv3 year old out of control

[stayathomemommyof2]

Hi its me again.I had posted a while back anout my 3 year old sons behavior.Well it had gotten better for a while yet now it seems to be getting worse again.He just has no respect  of any type of authority what so ever.Not meor his dad, i mean noone.It dosent matter what we say or what type of punishment we use or how consistant we are nothing works.He will do what he wants to regardless what anyone says or does.The harder i try to "put my foot down" the worse he acts.What caused me to post this was todays incident.OK heres what happened.After church my son went home with one of his friends.I got a call about an  hour later from the childs mom saying my son was screaming i hate you to everyone kicking toys and wanted me and she had tried everything she knew to calm him but couldnt.He was acting like that because he drove the jeep into the road and she had to chase him in the road, he wouldnt stop and finally she had to grab his arm pulling him out of the jeep to get him.away from the road.As she carried him in side he was kicking,screaming,and spiting at her fighting her the whole way until they were inside where she tried to calm him.She also explained why he couldnt go into the road and ask him "Do you know if you get in the road a car will run over you."to which he replied so what.Ill run real fast and it wont hit me.I dont know what to do with this child he is very complicated.When we got home he was sent to his room with no cartoons,where se still remains as i speak.I try to show him as much love and affection as i can because he stays in trouble so much,but it is hard because he does "stay in trouble so much"He seems like a very angry aggressive child.He tells me things like Ill punch you in the face,although he has never tried it.He also growls and claws at ppl like a lion or something.Is this normal behavior for a 3 year old, he does have a huge imagination.It just seems like he doesnt listen or understand what I tell him,example, I tell him" You do not act that way its not nice to hit people" and he responds with "Did you hear my, belly it growled and laughs" like he could care less what I just said just an example that exact inicident didnt happen.Is he trying to get attention. I just need some advice. I feel like the worst mom ever not being able to control a 3 year old.Until now I never understood how a child to ever run over his parents.Now I take back all the times I said "If that were my child...........!!"

[stayathomemommyof2]

Thank you and no i stoped the meds about a week ago.Maybe hes just testing me to see if ill give in since thats how it used to be.I dnt know really but im glad to know his behavior is normal.

[Sandman2]

  And yet, it got better for awhile.  I don't believe you posted about his behavior in over a month - except for the questions on his meds for asthma.  By the way, had he taken any on Sunday?  - they can really make a kid hyper.
  Anyway, if things did get better during the last month.  Remember that and what you did.  He is 3, changes will not happen overnight!  If you haven't done so, look at some of the posts by other parents about their 3,4,5, and 6 year olds.  You are certainly not the only one having these problems!  Doesn't make it any easier for you, but I just want you to know that at least some of the things he is doing (particularly the stuff in your last lines), are not uncommon behaviors.  As an example take a look at this post and in particular Julies comments - she has some great suggestions.  
    http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Child-Behavior/EXHAUSTED-MOM/show/1288249#post_5899756
     As to what happened on Sun.  The problem is that you weren't there.  You really don't know what started it. I don't know how many times he has been in the jeep, and how familiar he was with it.  Its possible that being only 3 he was just heading for an open spot to drive and got really ticked off when he got stopped.  In my opinion, you really can only deal with what happens when you are around.  I can definitely tell you that punishing him after the event (unless you live really close) was kind of useless.  At that age, it's got to be immediate (and of course, consistent).   Anyway, I am sure the whole matter was embarrassing and frustrating for you!
      I should add that telling him not to do something and expecting an intelligent response is not going to happen until he is about 9 (and by then, he will tell you what you want to hear if he has any intelligence).  If he hits a child - its an immediate timeout.  Its quite ok to tell him why he is in the timeout, just don't expect a response.    
   Think about your successes.  Remember that it takes about 3 weeks of constant behavioral modification to see a lasting change.   This will not happen overnight.  Good luck