Dad of my son?

[father808]

admitted to having sex on December 16th with  another for just that  once. don't know when her last lmp was but doctor  gave a due date  of October 27th, baby born October 29th natural. calculators show conception during the first week of February. who is the father? can doctors have due dates a month off?

[AnnieBrooke]

First of all, this is not a baby that was conceived as far back as December 16, that is wrong by weeks.  So you don't have to worry about Mr. December.  You're waiting on his results?  While you wait, go get a DNA test yourself.  It is always much better to have both a negative result (his) and a positive (yours) rather than just a test that rules him out.  Walgreen's has test kits that you can use, or just call the family court in your jurisdiction and ask for their list of labs certified for determining paternity.  Mr. December is being a jerk to butt in to your lives like this, it sounds like he can't do pregnancy math at all.

If you love her, don't leave her, and that should hold even if the baby were from a sperm donor.  Among other reasons, you have three other children, they love you and you belong in their life.  For another, as you say, this might be a little bit of the pot calling the kettle black.  You don't want to be blaming a baby for the error of two adults, the child is certainly innocent.  It would be great to get some counseling together if you have not, because it could help you and your wife get to the root of the whole "I'm kind of unhappy and sort of acting out" thing that has happened.  

Take care and stay calm.

Annie

[father808]

i am her husband and we have 3 children prior to the december guy. i love her very much and don't plan leaving her if the babies  mine . i cheated on her previously with online friends , no sexual intercourse.
the december guy contacted her and i am waiting for  results for him and baby . (she had intercourse  in 2012 she only admitted it 2 months ago )
im trying to soothe myself . if december is the dad shell let him have rights .

[AnnieBrooke]

If you think of a  month as only 4 weeks long (which it isn't, it's 4 1/2 weeks long, but anyway ...) and pregnancy as 40 weeks long (which timing begins on the first day of the woman's last period before getting pregnant, so it includes two weeks at the front end where she is not pregnant yet), someone could say pregnancy was "10 months" long.  I've seen pregnancy books kid around about this.  The confusion comes from the way doctors count out the duration of "pregnancy" as including that first two weeks between period and conception.  

But, her conception date has to be judged from when the doctor said she was due, which was October 27, if he got the date from an ultrasound.  And if she had gone the necessary number of weeks past her due date to produce a baby from sex in December, she would have been something like six weeks overdue, and no doctor in the world would allow that to happen.  They would be ordering induction or a C-section at two weeks past due.

The conception calculator gives the following for a due date of October 27 --

First day of last menstrual period:  January 20
Probable date of ovulation:  February 3
Possible dates of conception:  January 30 to February 7
Due date:  October 27 (40 weeks)

I assume you are not the guy she slept with on December 16.  What is your role in this, is she denying that you are the father and you are trying to prove you are?  Does she want you out of your life and you are wanting to use the baby to leverage yourself back in?  Is she freaked out that Mr. Accident in December is the dad and can't be soothed, and you are trying to calm her?  Are you her husband and thinking of leaving if the baby is not yours?  In the case of you wanting to be able to help and take care of the baby if it is yours, it's a pretty simple matter to get a DNA test.  But if you're merely trying to win a fight, you won't have much cooperation from her.

[father808]

update: i want to believe the baby is mine. i have  no one except this  site  backing  my theory up. if the baby is his then she would have been pregnant for 10months since the one night stand was in the  middle of  December. she keeps saying he was in  for ten months because  he was 10 lb. 8 oz. he had little sugar but he was good. no extra care.

[AnnieBrooke]

She would have gotten pregnant no earlier than the very last week of January.  It would not be from sex on December 16.

[Angie2235]

If her due date was in october most likely her lmp was in january. No way she couldve got pregnant in december