Aa
Doubtful Paternity of fraternal twins
I am AB blood type my wife is O we had fraternal twins with blood type A and O my wife admitted having an affair while conceiving is there any scenario when i can be the father of both children
COMMUNITY LEADER
I am unfortunately not expert at paternity as revealed by blood types. The kind of writing on the topic that I've seen says things like, "in most cases," an AB parent and an O parent will only have A or B kids. There are a few possible ways this is not true, except they are very rare. Here's a link to an article that explains the exceptions:
https://www.thetech.org/ask-a-geneticist/ask427
It would be simpler to do DNA tests than to try to puzzle it out from blood types, at this point. Just in case of that rare chance that you are a chimera, possibly yours should be done with a both a cheek swab and a blood draw.
Do you intend to stay married and to be an equally good dad to both kids, or does splitting up with your wife ride on this? It sounds like in any case you should do the DNA tests, since if you are going to wonder and be stressed over it anyway, you should have the correct answer, on the slim chance that you're a rarity.
https://www.thetech.org/ask-a-geneticist/ask427
It would be simpler to do DNA tests than to try to puzzle it out from blood types, at this point. Just in case of that rare chance that you are a chimera, possibly yours should be done with a both a cheek swab and a blood draw.
Do you intend to stay married and to be an equally good dad to both kids, or does splitting up with your wife ride on this? It sounds like in any case you should do the DNA tests, since if you are going to wonder and be stressed over it anyway, you should have the correct answer, on the slim chance that you're a rarity.
10 Comments
Whatever the result i’ll keep both of them were both a product of a disorganized family i want to break the chain of pur families. I will do my best to raise both of them well thank you for the response
I think you are doing the right thing by a long way. Love is love, and every child deserves good care. If you can, try finding a therapist who does family counseling; and either with or without your wife use the counselor every now and then to be a neutral ear. If you and your wife agree on priorities that neither of you will ever break (I assume those would have to do with being there for the kids so they come out raised well), with each agreement kept between you, it will provide a foundation to rebuild trust. I wish you the best and am all for you breaking negative chains.
Thank you i was in the dark for a few weeks now. I was afraid to tell anyone. I only have one dilemma if im not the father of both or one of them is it fair if i keep the result for myself?
As things stand right now, you're the dad. I mean you really are, legally. (Under the law, if you are married and your wife has a baby, you are the father. It would take legal work to refute that assumption, if a judge would even let someone try.) Since you intend to raise them and do well by them, you can definitely just go on being their dad. And, most important, your kids' privacy is the number-one consideration here. Your role as their dad is to protect them. Not telling sounds much wiser all the way around than telling.
When you say "keep the result for myself," do you mean, not tell your wife? If you think that if you told your wife, the test results would not stay secret, that sounds like an important reason not to tell the DNA results even to your wife. Such secrets tend not to keep: your wife might tell just one person that she is close to, under the seal of secrecy. But the secret isn't life and death to that person, who tells her spouse. The spouse hasn't promised on a stack of Bibles to keep the secret, so he later says something to, say, his mother. At that point, the cat's out of the bag and can't be put back. Such stories are just too compelling. And careless talk, jokes, and rude opinions can cause the kids to be treated differently by the extended family or friends, make them the topic of gossip when they are innocent of any misdeed, or distress them in some other way that can't be foreseen. Your children have full right to protection of their personal information even as babies. They'll be too young for quite a while to protect their right to privacy, so you are obligated to protect it for them. I'm not sure you have the right to tell anyone.
This could even be a reason not to do a DNA test at all, until the children themselves are older and have the right to know. That way you wouldn't have the strain of keeping what you know from your wife.
All this silence about possible origin stories of the babies means that you won't have anyone to share the "distress of bottling it up" with: that's where having a counselor does a lot of good. Someone will make a casual remark about how much your kid looks like you, for example. If you happen to know that that's the kid whose genetic package isn't from you, that can sting or make you feel dishonest or heartbroken, for a little while. You need to have someone in your life who knows the story but is obligated not to talk about it. Counselors are great for that.
There are some interesting and lengthy conversations to have between you and your wife, in the future, about what and how the kids should know that there is a reason to test, or to know the results if you have tested. People nowadays do DNA test kits for fun and to determine their ancestry, so you can almost count on the secret coming out to your kids by the time they are adults. You and your wife need to be on the same page about what to say when the day comes that one kid or the other has some pretty interesting questions. (Some kids begin to wonder about things like this when they're 14, 15 or 16, especially if they don't look a lot like their sibling.) But luckily you have a while to work this out. And especially as they get older, just remember that it's the kids' decision whether to say anything to anyone else, not yours.
When you say "keep the result for myself," do you mean, not tell your wife? If you think that if you told your wife, the test results would not stay secret, that sounds like an important reason not to tell the DNA results even to your wife. Such secrets tend not to keep: your wife might tell just one person that she is close to, under the seal of secrecy. But the secret isn't life and death to that person, who tells her spouse. The spouse hasn't promised on a stack of Bibles to keep the secret, so he later says something to, say, his mother. At that point, the cat's out of the bag and can't be put back. Such stories are just too compelling. And careless talk, jokes, and rude opinions can cause the kids to be treated differently by the extended family or friends, make them the topic of gossip when they are innocent of any misdeed, or distress them in some other way that can't be foreseen. Your children have full right to protection of their personal information even as babies. They'll be too young for quite a while to protect their right to privacy, so you are obligated to protect it for them. I'm not sure you have the right to tell anyone.
This could even be a reason not to do a DNA test at all, until the children themselves are older and have the right to know. That way you wouldn't have the strain of keeping what you know from your wife.
All this silence about possible origin stories of the babies means that you won't have anyone to share the "distress of bottling it up" with: that's where having a counselor does a lot of good. Someone will make a casual remark about how much your kid looks like you, for example. If you happen to know that that's the kid whose genetic package isn't from you, that can sting or make you feel dishonest or heartbroken, for a little while. You need to have someone in your life who knows the story but is obligated not to talk about it. Counselors are great for that.
There are some interesting and lengthy conversations to have between you and your wife, in the future, about what and how the kids should know that there is a reason to test, or to know the results if you have tested. People nowadays do DNA test kits for fun and to determine their ancestry, so you can almost count on the secret coming out to your kids by the time they are adults. You and your wife need to be on the same page about what to say when the day comes that one kid or the other has some pretty interesting questions. (Some kids begin to wonder about things like this when they're 14, 15 or 16, especially if they don't look a lot like their sibling.) But luckily you have a while to work this out. And especially as they get older, just remember that it's the kids' decision whether to say anything to anyone else, not yours.
Thank you again im from a third world country it would take almost 2 months of my salary for a DNA test.
Yes that maybe my best option to share it with my wife since were trying to gain trust so maybe this will be our start. It’s just sad that we dont have available councilors/professionals for these types of counciling regarding marriage it. Would need to do a bus ride for 3 hrs when I checked. Thank you again for so much insight
Yes that maybe my best option to share it with my wife since were trying to gain trust so maybe this will be our start. It’s just sad that we dont have available councilors/professionals for these types of counciling regarding marriage it. Would need to do a bus ride for 3 hrs when I checked. Thank you again for so much insight
Good luck. I am not certain that sharing your doubts with your wife about paternity will do any good right now, because you don't have an absolute answer, and all you will do is stir up her own worry. An anxious woman is all the more likely to confide in her best friend or sister, and then you're down the garden path to the children being talked about or given the side-eye at family gatherings. For your kids' sake I would urge you not to dump your worries on your wife. She won't have definite answers and then will dump them one someone else, and there goes the kids' protection. I would only discuss this with her at some time in the future when you know for sure.
Did you read the link about Asian people in particular being the group that might be able to produce a type-O blood result from an AB and an O parent? Are you of Asian background? If so, there's a chance that both babies are from you.
Did you read the link about Asian people in particular being the group that might be able to produce a type-O blood result from an AB and an O parent? Are you of Asian background? If so, there's a chance that both babies are from you.
Yes im from Asia thats why im still hoping everything goes well
Have you checked in with the DDC to find out if doing a DNA test from them is possible in your country, and if it would make the price lower? Two months' salary sounds like a lot, compared to the price of DNA testing in the United States, and I think the DDC operates worldwide through its network of affiliated labs.
Also, are you sure your wife is correct when she says she thinks the affair was around the time when she conceived? Sometimes people think this because of the way the pregnancy time period is counted by doctors, but they can be mistaken.
How are you doing now? I have been thinking of you a lot and wishing that all children in the world have such a good father as you. I know this must be a very up and down time for you, but when you put the good of the children into your considerations, I hope it is a stabilizing thing for you.
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