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Annie, I need your help!!!
Hi Annie, can you please help me. I wont stop worrying about this and it is making me feel physically sick and I can't enjoy my pregnancy as much as I would like. I am due August 20, 2018. I received 3 different ultrasounds, one transvaginal & abdominal at 6 weeks 6 days, transvaginal & abdominal 9 weeks 1 day and just abdominal at 12 weeks 1 day and I received the due date 08/20 from one and 8/19 from the other 2 ultrasounds. My LMP was November 13 but i cant remember if it was a full period. My periods are really irregular and im scared the doctors are going off that period for my due date and I'm not sure if it was implantation bleeding. I had sex with man A on October 21 and had sex with my boyfriend November 27th. Please help, who is the dad??
COMMUNITY LEADER
I think you should get a better OCD therapist. You must have been told by now that giving in to OCD-related false messages (that your logical mind knows are not correct), simply strengothens the OCD. Then you need more and more reassurance, and even then it doesn't work. If your therapist is not telling you these things, it is important to find a better therapist, because you are going to be a mommy, and you can't indulge in the luxury of such false thinking.
Your conception date is November 27 according to three early ultrasounds. Ask your doctor if you like, but obviously only you can reassure you.
Your conception date is November 27 according to three early ultrasounds. Ask your doctor if you like, but obviously only you can reassure you.
7 Comments
I havent been to a therapist yet. This will be my first visit. I always felt like I could deal with it but now having a baby I think it is important for me to have a good understanding of why I feel the way I do. I'm scared this might turn to postpartum so that's why I decided to make an appointment. I asked my doctor if I have the baby early will it change my conception date and all she said is that most likely I will go full term or even after. So she didn't really answer my question. Sorry to bug, but that won't mean anything if i have tge baby early correct?
Let's say a woman gets pregnant on January 1 and her due date is the third week of September. But there is a car crash, and she has the baby by emergency C-section on August 20. Does this change when the baby was conceived? Having a baby earlier than one's due date does not change either the due date or the conception date. If your doctor tells you that you are probably going to go full term, you probably are.
That makes sense. Thank you Annie, you have made me feel a lot better about everything. I think I've been reading too many things online that have made my mind go crazy. All the evidence is right in front of me but I choose to not 100% accept it. Hopefully talking to someone with help a little more. Talking to you has put my mind to ease a bit and made me feel like I am letting my OCD get the best of me and need to stop. Thanks again!!
If your therapist doesn't help, ask him or her to tell you the name of a person who specializes in OCD. It's not hard to get past OCD if you have a good, trained person to talk to, it's only hard if you let yourself stay stuck in it. We don't have the tools to walk out of OCD by ourselves, but it can take a pretty darn short time to get over it if you have a good therapist who knows what she is doing. Good luck!
Hi Annie, so I went to see a therapist today and it honestly just made me feel worse. I explained to her how I've been feeling and how I've been having all these doubts of who the father of my baby is even though I've had 3 early ultrasounds and everything matches up perfectly to my boyfriend. She started throwing all these scenarios out, like "What if the other guy is the father, what would you do?" and "If the other guy is the father would you tell your boyfriend?" I was honestly feeling a bit better about the the situation and now she put all this doubt in my head again. Annie, please help calm my mind a bit!! This was my first time seeing a therapist and not sure if it was just her or I just have to give it time.
Would you say that I really don't have anything to worry about and I'm really just overthinking this whole thing? Is the time frame long enough to say this is something that shouldn't even be a concern to me? I just want to enjoy the last few months of my pregnancy and be at peace.
As I said, I think you should go to a therapist that specializes in OCD. Someone who knows that the mind gives false messages under the influence of OCD is will not give you more false messages. She is giving you random worst-case scenarios in order to show you that you don't have anything to worry about, but that only works for people who don't have OCD. As I said in the posts above, giving any play to OCD-related false messages (that your logical mind knows are not correct), simply strengthens the OCD. Then you need more and more reassurance, and even then it doesn't work. If your therapist is not aware of these things and not telling you these things, it is important to find a better therapist.
Your conception date is November 27 according to three early ultrasounds. You might just have to cross-stitch this on a pillow and look at it every day, because there is nothing anyone else can do to get it into your head but you.
Your conception date is November 27 according to three early ultrasounds. You might just have to cross-stitch this on a pillow and look at it every day, because there is nothing anyone else can do to get it into your head but you.
COMMUNITY LEADER
You are thinking "what if" doctors looked at ultrasounds three separate times and did not notice that the baby was a month older than it should be for the due date?
3 Comments
Yes, I'm just nervous they are going off my LMP or the ultrasound can be off. Is it possible to be off that much? Can you please tell me my conception date?
Conception date, from the ultrasound that said August 20th is the due date, is November 27. (If you had gotten pregnant from the sex on October 21, the due date you would have been given from your ultrasounds would have been July 14.) Three ultrasounds would not be a month off. A doctor going by your last menstrual period alone would not leave it at that if your ultrasound results showed a baby a month further along than expected. Talk to your doctor about it.
I talked to my doctor and asked her if I should be concerned and she told me she isnt concerned and not to think about it anymore because I would have been bigger. That I just feel guilty. I have compared my ultrasound pictures to others and looked up what the baby's heartbeat should be at that week and everything matched up. I know I'm being paranoid. I actually made an appointment with a therapist next week so hopefully it will help me. One last question, if the baby comes early would that change anything about conception?
I feel like I'm overthinking this but the "What ifs" is really weighing on me.
3 Comments
You say the "What ifs" is really weighing on you. How does your "what-if" sentence go? Is it "What if the doctor never looked at the ultrasound's due date and kept using a due date based on my last period, even if the baby's measurements on the ultrasound did not match that due date"?
What if my boyfriend is not the father is what I'm worried about.
I have OCD so I have a problem of obsessing over things. I feel like even though the time frame is a good amount of time from one another I can't help but to be nervous. From what I read in these post you seem to be really knowledgeable with this so I guess I just need your opinion to help me. Thank you
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