Aa
Need help with paternity and dates
I had my last period on Aug 23 to Aug 27. I had sex with Guy A on Aug 30 going into Aug 31, and Guy B Sept 4. The ovulation calendar say I ovulated on the Sept 6, took pregnancy after being 1 day late(Sept 20) becuz I was have sore breast, pregnancy test came back positive. Haven’t had ultrasound but based off the wheel I am 6 weeks today
COMMUNITY LEADER
A wheel uses a 28-day menstrual month and assumes you ovulate on day 14. Even an ovulation calculator is only going by averages, unless it has at least a year worth of data from you, with the exact date of each period. Do you have that? Are your cycles really regular and your periods come at exactly every 29th day?
9 Comments
The last 4 periods been Pretty Regular
For 4 months str8 my period was coming on the 3 week of the month and falling in the same day each month
What '4 months str8,' May, June, July, and August? These four months are 31 days, 30 days, 31 days, and 31 days long, you are saying your period came on the same day each month, so one month you went 30 days from one period to the next, but the other months it took 31 days from one period to the next? 30 - 31 days is pretty long for a menstrual month; are you sure?
If you had a period that began August 23, and if your menstrual months are really 30-31 days, your next period would have begun on September 22 or 23 (if you hadn't been pregnant). But you say above that you were "late" on September 20. This would suggest the calendar you are using is not accounting for your long menstrual months, (or, that your menstrual months aren't 30-31 days).
Anyway, if you are certain and you actually do have 30-31 day menstrual months, that would suggest your previous ovulation was on August 9 and your next ovulation would have been on September 8 or 9. This would suggest the second guy as the dad. Sperm from August 30 would have not been viable by then but sperm from September 4 would have.
Since you are in your 6th week, go get an ultrasound. Don't tell the nurse when your last period was, say you don't remember the exact date but that it was in August. Get the ultrasound this week or the next, since only in these early weeks will it help you split the difference between August 30 and September 4. If you get one this soon, ask them to tell you the estimated due date, which if you don't tell them your period, it will come to you based only the baby's measurements. (This is what you want.) Them telling you a number in "weeks" is not helpful for this, you want the estimated due date. Take that estimated due date home, and count back from it on a calendar 266 days. That will tell you an estimated conception date.
With the two guys this close together, you might not get as clear an answer as you would like (for example, on the 4th, both guys would have had living sperm in your reproductive tract, though the first guys' sperm wouldn't probably be as plentiful). But if your estimated conception date falls on the 7th or later, that does suggest only the second guy.
Using ultrasounds and basing the due date on the baby's size markers only works in the very early weeks. This is because some babies grow faster or slower than average. But it could help you now, or in the next week. So do whatever you can to get one.
Good luck!
If you had a period that began August 23, and if your menstrual months are really 30-31 days, your next period would have begun on September 22 or 23 (if you hadn't been pregnant). But you say above that you were "late" on September 20. This would suggest the calendar you are using is not accounting for your long menstrual months, (or, that your menstrual months aren't 30-31 days).
Anyway, if you are certain and you actually do have 30-31 day menstrual months, that would suggest your previous ovulation was on August 9 and your next ovulation would have been on September 8 or 9. This would suggest the second guy as the dad. Sperm from August 30 would have not been viable by then but sperm from September 4 would have.
Since you are in your 6th week, go get an ultrasound. Don't tell the nurse when your last period was, say you don't remember the exact date but that it was in August. Get the ultrasound this week or the next, since only in these early weeks will it help you split the difference between August 30 and September 4. If you get one this soon, ask them to tell you the estimated due date, which if you don't tell them your period, it will come to you based only the baby's measurements. (This is what you want.) Them telling you a number in "weeks" is not helpful for this, you want the estimated due date. Take that estimated due date home, and count back from it on a calendar 266 days. That will tell you an estimated conception date.
With the two guys this close together, you might not get as clear an answer as you would like (for example, on the 4th, both guys would have had living sperm in your reproductive tract, though the first guys' sperm wouldn't probably be as plentiful). But if your estimated conception date falls on the 7th or later, that does suggest only the second guy.
Using ultrasounds and basing the due date on the baby's size markers only works in the very early weeks. This is because some babies grow faster or slower than average. But it could help you now, or in the next week. So do whatever you can to get one.
Good luck!
So all my periods for the last 4 months has been falling on the 3rd week of the month falling on Monday every 3rd week of the month
And no my period was supposed to start on Monday the 19th the 3rd week of the month it didn’t come down on the 20th which was late for me but the sore breast made me concerned which was a symptom I didn’t have before with is y I took a pregnancy test
My period for the 23rd I don’t know y I didn’t see blood (tmi) until this day becuz I cramped all the 22nd but no blood til the 23rd
The only way periods are useful to try to decide when you got pregnant is if always they come exactly a certain number of days apart, such as 28 days, every single month like clockwork, for years. Then you could assume that the next one would come exactly that many days from the last one, and estimate from when it would have come, when you ovulated.
But you aren't saying your cycles come that evenly, you're saying they match the calendar, and calendar months are themselves not even. (A month on the calendar is not an even 4 weeks long, it's sometimes 4 1/2 weeks and sometimes 4.3 weeks, etc.) The third Mondays of May, June, July and August were:
May 16
June 20
July 18
August 15
(August 23, which you said was when your last period came, is in fact the fourth Tuesday of that month.)
Given what you said, your menstrual month lengths (from one period to the next) would have been:
May 16 - June 20: 35 days
June 20 - July 18: 28 days
July 18 - August 15: 28 days
(or:) July 18 - August 23: 36 days
Those month lengths don't match, and therefore don't give room even to guess about when September's period might have come, let alone to try to count back to when ovulation might have been.
It is pretty common not to be able to tell from periods when a woman got pregnant. In fact, it would be better if women didn't try, because there are more exceptions than women whose cycles are that regular. (And even a woman that does have super regular menstrual month lengths might suddenly ovulate early or late.)
Your best bet is to get to the doctor and get an ultrasound, before more time goes by. It's the best time in the pregnancy to try to get an idea who the dad could be by the baby's size and development. It might not work if the baby was conceived when both guys had sperm in your body at the same time, then you *will* need a DNA test. But if an ultrasound is going help, it will only do it this week or the next. I hope yours points to just one guy.
But you aren't saying your cycles come that evenly, you're saying they match the calendar, and calendar months are themselves not even. (A month on the calendar is not an even 4 weeks long, it's sometimes 4 1/2 weeks and sometimes 4.3 weeks, etc.) The third Mondays of May, June, July and August were:
May 16
June 20
July 18
August 15
(August 23, which you said was when your last period came, is in fact the fourth Tuesday of that month.)
Given what you said, your menstrual month lengths (from one period to the next) would have been:
May 16 - June 20: 35 days
June 20 - July 18: 28 days
July 18 - August 15: 28 days
(or:) July 18 - August 23: 36 days
Those month lengths don't match, and therefore don't give room even to guess about when September's period might have come, let alone to try to count back to when ovulation might have been.
It is pretty common not to be able to tell from periods when a woman got pregnant. In fact, it would be better if women didn't try, because there are more exceptions than women whose cycles are that regular. (And even a woman that does have super regular menstrual month lengths might suddenly ovulate early or late.)
Your best bet is to get to the doctor and get an ultrasound, before more time goes by. It's the best time in the pregnancy to try to get an idea who the dad could be by the baby's size and development. It might not work if the baby was conceived when both guys had sperm in your body at the same time, then you *will* need a DNA test. But if an ultrasound is going help, it will only do it this week or the next. I hope yours points to just one guy.
U making it confusing for me so I’m going to leave it to the ultrasound becuz what u marking vs what me and this Doctor discussed is not adding up. I will find out today and hopefully it’s what I want
Did you get an ultrasound today?
While sperm from Aug 31 could perhaps have lasted until Sept 6, your Sept 4 encounter has a far better chance. Congratulations on your pregnancy
1 Comments
Thank U
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