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Who is the father
I am due January 15th of 2024. I had sex on April 16th with guy #1 and then again on April 28th with guy #2. Who is the father?
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, your range just from the estimated due date is right in between those guys' dates; the reverse due date calculator says sex on April 17-23 would produce a baby due January 15. That said, how did you get your due date? If it was from a doctor asking when your last period was and putting it into a little cardboard wheel, it isn't going to necessarily be accurate. If it was from an ultrasound, how early in the pregnancy was the ultrasound?
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My most recent ultrasound was today at 20weeks and 4 days.
I was asking when your first ultrasound was, not your most recent one. Did you have one earlier? The ultrasound today won't be accurate to use for pinpointing the date of conception, because as a pregnancy progresses, some babies grow faster and some grow slower, meaning their size by now can't be used to judge exactly when conception was. Did you have an ultrasound around your 7th week? Or, in your first trimester?
If you did have an early ultrasound, especially if it was earlier than your 9th week or so, the estimated due date they gave you at that time would be the one to use when trying to figure out when conception was.
The first ultrasound I had I was considered 9weeks and 4 days pregnant
And, when was that ultrasound (on what date was it done)? Also, did they give you an estimated due date (EDD) from that ultrasound?
The date of that ultrasound was June 16th 2023. The problem is I told my OBGYN that my last menstrual was April 14th putting my due date January 19 or 20th( not realizing that last period means the 1st day of menstrual flow and I told her my last day of menstrual flow). My first day was April 10th and ended on the April 14th. At this point I don't believe it makes a difference but still uncertain on who is the father. According to calculations if my last period was April 10th that puts my due date at January 15th.
Did the doctor give you an estimated due date on June 16, based on the baby's ultrasound measurements? Or do you think the doc just went with what you said about your last period? It seems unlikely that a doctor with the ultrasound info right there would use the first-day-of-last-period date to calculate the due date if there was a difference. Did the doc ever change your due date?
Yes based on my last period which was April 10th they are saying the 15th. I do believe that the first doctor I went to calculated based on what I told her which was incorrect.
Calendar calculations based on your last period don't help, even if you had told the doctor the correct date. This is because women don't always ovulate exactly two weeks after their last period. Knowing when it was isn't precise enough for the kind of assessment you're trying to make. In the old days they began the count with the first day of the last period because it was the only signal they had, but now there are ultrasounds. You need the estimated due date based on the actual measurements of the actual baby as assessed by a doctor reading the ultrasound, and you need it from your earliest ultrasound. Guesses as to what the doctor meant when he or she told you x weeks along don't help.
Do you have a copy of that first ultrasound? It might have an EDD printed right on it along with the crown-to-rump measurement. If you weren't given a copy, at your next visit, ask your doctor to look it up (specifically, that first ultrasound) and tell you what EDD was named from the measurements in the ultrasound. Even if you have changed doctors, your doctor should be able to access it. Tell your doctor that the dates figured on a little cardboard wheel don't make sense, and you are trying to estimate when conception was, and that the early measurement from the first ultrasound will help with this.
The reason it matters that you ask for the data from your earliest ultrasound and not the later one is that all babies start as one cell and develop at a known rate at first, but over time some babies can grow faster and some can grow slower than average. Your 20th-week ultrasound is therefore not going to help you split the difference between two possible dads. You need the EDD from that earliest ultrasound.
If you get this EDD, go home and put it in a conception calculator online, or just count back manually 266 days from the EDD date, and that will be the baby's estimated conception date. Or write back with the EDD and we can calculate it. That should give you a clue if the first guy had long-lasting sperm or ovulation was late enough for the second guy to be the dad.
If the doctor won't or can't give you this information, you're going to need to do a DNA test when the baby comes. (Which, if you aren't married, is something you should do anyway. Both guys should test -- a judge can cause this to happen if either guy refuses -- and the proof of who the is father should go into the baby's medical record. This is for protection of the baby's legal rights, and would be important for a lot of reasons, such as, what if you died? Where would be the legal proof of paternity?) Anyway, if you aren't telling one guy that there is a need to test due to not wanting him to know you had sex with the other guy, just tell him that you need the test to protect the baby's rights. This will interest him enough that he might not think of asking if there is some other reason you want the test.
But I hope you can tell from the doctor's info from that first ultrasound. Write back if you get it.
Do you have a copy of that first ultrasound? It might have an EDD printed right on it along with the crown-to-rump measurement. If you weren't given a copy, at your next visit, ask your doctor to look it up (specifically, that first ultrasound) and tell you what EDD was named from the measurements in the ultrasound. Even if you have changed doctors, your doctor should be able to access it. Tell your doctor that the dates figured on a little cardboard wheel don't make sense, and you are trying to estimate when conception was, and that the early measurement from the first ultrasound will help with this.
The reason it matters that you ask for the data from your earliest ultrasound and not the later one is that all babies start as one cell and develop at a known rate at first, but over time some babies can grow faster and some can grow slower than average. Your 20th-week ultrasound is therefore not going to help you split the difference between two possible dads. You need the EDD from that earliest ultrasound.
If you get this EDD, go home and put it in a conception calculator online, or just count back manually 266 days from the EDD date, and that will be the baby's estimated conception date. Or write back with the EDD and we can calculate it. That should give you a clue if the first guy had long-lasting sperm or ovulation was late enough for the second guy to be the dad.
If the doctor won't or can't give you this information, you're going to need to do a DNA test when the baby comes. (Which, if you aren't married, is something you should do anyway. Both guys should test -- a judge can cause this to happen if either guy refuses -- and the proof of who the is father should go into the baby's medical record. This is for protection of the baby's legal rights, and would be important for a lot of reasons, such as, what if you died? Where would be the legal proof of paternity?) Anyway, if you aren't telling one guy that there is a need to test due to not wanting him to know you had sex with the other guy, just tell him that you need the test to protect the baby's rights. This will interest him enough that he might not think of asking if there is some other reason you want the test.
But I hope you can tell from the doctor's info from that first ultrasound. Write back if you get it.
Ok thank you
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