anxiety about paternity please help!!

[lex229]

Ok so I know Ive asked this question before but my anxiety has gotten so much with my due date coming up. So this year on January 26 late at night l slept with a friend and this was also the first day of my period for January. After that me and my boyfriend of 2 years got back together and were together all of february. Then on Feb 21 I started what I believed to be my period, it was quite heavy, however it did seem to be early as well as only last 2 days. Then on march 6 I started birth control as well as took plan b. But also that day and the next be and by boyfriend had unprotected sex and he did come inside of me. I found out late at night on the 26th I was pregnant with a very positive pregnancy test. I had an ultrasound on April 10th dating me at 6w 6d saw embryo, yolk sac, and heartbeat. Then again had ultrasounds at 18 and 20 wks that dated me within the same range. Then I had an ultrasound at 32 wks that dated the head 2.5 weeks ahead, the stomach right on, and the femur, about a week behind so on average the baby measured 6 days ahead. So I'm just really stressed about the guy from January being the dad because I don't know how I got pregnant after starting birth control and taking plan b. But also I did drink quite a bit in February so could that stunt the babies growth by that much?? Is there any way January is the dad?? Also is it normal to get a positive pregnancy test that early? i I know I made a mistake so no judging. Any ideas are greatly appreciated!!

[AnnieBrooke]

Obviously, reading "all this stuff on the internet' is not the greatest thing to do if you are prone to anxiety.  Why, here on MedHelp, if I read and credited every theory people feel like putting out there, I would believe that putting my hands over my head when pregnant would strangle the baby, that vaccines are made of cow pus and part of a government plot to alter humanity, that it's fine to take castor oil to bring on labor, that it's perfectly swell for a 16-year-old to want to get pregnant by her equally young boyfriend, and that you can cure BV by drinking garlic water.  Guess I am saying, on the internet, you will read someone writing in that someone else she has heard of (usually her aunt), had home pregnancy tests come up negative for months and months and the person had periods all throughout, and lo and behold she was pregnant.  I have never found a medically certified story to that effect, and I read the medical journals often for answers to various questions.  Don't bore and destroy yourself making up anxiety-based stories, just live your life.  You'll get your confirmation soon enough.

[lex229]

Also I read all this stuff in the internet about how longg it took people to get positive pregnancy tests and I got a very positive one quite quickly so that worried as well.

[lex229]

I do understand all my ideas about size and such a quite far fetched. Unfortunately I have always had really bad anxiety. I play this mental games with myself, like if I see the brand of car this kid drove between point a and b ill know its his, and plenty of ther stuff and then it happens and it totally freaks me out... Like some sign from the universe that all the info I have is wrong. I know it sounds crazy so I have been seeing a counselor for that and its helped a bit. I guess I'm just so scared because I really do want this baby with my boyfriend and I'm terrified a one night thing will ruin our chance together I guess. Also I guess I feel like god is trying to punish me for messing up which I know is crazy as well. But thank you so much for all your help :)

[AnnieBrooke]

Here is what the conception calculator says.  It agrees with what your doctor told you, and he was looking at the ultrasounds.   Please remember, your doctor went to college for many years in this specific area of study.

     First day of last menstrual period:  February 22
     Probable date of ovulation:  March 8
     Possible dates of conception:  March 4 to 12
     Due date:  November 29 (40 weeks)

The fact that you can't let go of this obsessive worry suggests something else is worrying you, not that you had sex in January with someone and conceived in March.  That can hardly be a real worry, but it can act as a useful surrogate worry.  Some of the women on here who have this problem (i.e., that their dates are at least a month apart with a period in between but they still won't believe doctors, logic, or advice) are letting themselves focus obsessively on the possibility that the wrong guy is the dad to avoid deeper worries.  Some feel so guilty about having had the sex with the other guy that they can't stop stressing, some really don't want to be stuck in a future with the real dad, some don't want to face the fact that they are about to have to raise a child, some have other issues.  Basically, they've got a high stress load about something, and it has settled on developing far-fetched scenarios that make the sex that anyone can see did not produce the baby, into the sex that produced the baby.

Keep in mind that in only about two more months, you can get a DNA test and put it all to rest.  This might then unearth the real cause of your anxiety; keep alert to what runs immediately through your mind when you hear the baby is your boyfriend's -- "Oh, good, God didn't punish me after all," or "Oh, rats, now I have to raise it," or something else -- and that will identify for you what has been eating at you about all of this. You might also consider talking to a counselor, if you simply are too stressed to continue.  Your theories about why something measures this much and something else measures that much are pretty extreme, as is your unwillingness to listen to your doctor.  This suggests that you're really being bothered, and if you don't want to wait for the DNA test for assurance, a therapist could maybe help you unearth the real reason for your worry.

[lex229]

Also my due date is nov 29th according to first ultrasound and has stayed the same my whole pregnancy. I'm just so worried cause I feel like my symptoms have been allover the place making me feel farther along and also I'm worried that Feb period was really implantation bleeding or something.